Kalam Ko No Mera Salaam

A decade ago, B-Town churned out its first full-blown (and shamelessly-copied) sexual harassment drama, Aitraaz. I had just landed a plum job (well, at least it seemed like that, then, to a fresher like me) in a leading ad agency and I vividly remember how my ‘seniors’ gave the bigg boss some golis about going out for market research and whisked gullible moi to the black marketeers instead, making me pay through my nose and every other orifice there is for 6 first-day-first-show balcony ticketsΒ  😯

And one of my dearest bhidus, Bhaskar (who preferred being called Bastard because it sounded cooler!!!), even yanked out a pair of blue shades, excited at the prospect of watching a blue film πŸ˜† or something close to it πŸ™„

Cut to ten years later. There was a reunion of sorts last Saturday and we all decided to catch…you guessed it!!! Inkaar…a movie on the ad fraternity, a world my bumchums STILL belong to…some of them occupying the same positions too!!! Talk about being unamBITCHYious πŸ˜›

While I was plain disgusted with the way B-Town’s Abdul Kalam, Mr. Sudhir Mishra, πŸ˜† was loosening his grip on a taut and gripping first half post intermission, my companions were babbling excitedly, thrilled to see glimpses of themselves in Chitrangada and Arjun 😯 Maybe it’s time to make new friends πŸ˜›

With the film going all over the place and the climax being the proverbial anti-climax, I really didn’t care if Arjun was a B or Chitrangada, a bigger B. I just wanted to B from the theatre….bhaag πŸ˜†

Of late, I’ve noticed quite a few capable and accomplished directors succumb to this silly syndrome of building a great plot, even greater excitement and just when we begin to laud them mentally, they make a daud for dear life πŸ˜† knowing we’ll bash them black and blue and every other color there is for swinging that dud of an ending in our unsuspecting faces! You can be sure Reema Kagti won’t be making another movie for a long time and pretty soon we’ll be on a talaash for her πŸ˜€

As far as performances went, I could essay the part of Maya with greater finesse…provided I looked like her! Chitrangada’s unparalleled beauty reminded me of something a heartbroken Ross whines to Rachel when Charlie the Kaali πŸ˜† breaks up with him. “There was one! She’s it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!” The last time an actress made me feel like going under the knife was Kat Kaif in Namastey London.

Anyway, Arjun looks better than he can act and the buzz is they are considering his performance for the National Award 😯 Right through the movie, I kept wondering if he and Miss Singh were to have kids, how gorgeous they’d be! That says a lot about pitching in a riveting performance, right?Β  πŸ™„

Maybe if Kalam gives his movie’s patrons a dabba of malam, I might be a little more forgiving…

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