I honestly don’t think actresses come with a shelf life. Although some might say she’s in her TWILIGHT zone :razz:, Meryl Streep can still strip all the KristSIN Stewarts of this world bare-naked with her power-packed performances. πŸ˜†

Closer home, after a lifetime of hamming, I thought Sri delivered her career’s finest in English Vinglish. Returning to the silver screen with a BANG is the puffy-eyed Juhi and the botoxed Mads with their GulabGANG. I seem to be getting good at my rhyming skills! πŸ˜€

Also, who can forget Kajol? She looked like the male lead in Bekhudi with the bushy unibrow and all πŸ˜† while the effeminate Kamal Sadanah looked like the kamsin kali or for want of a more apt title kamsin kamal πŸ˜† While the unibrow still remains πŸ™„ she’s metamorphosed into one of the yummiest mummies I’ve ever seen! And no, I don’t think Olay Total Effects has anything to do with the transformation!

I believe actresses develop a better understanding of their craft with age and truly save the best for last.

Here’s one woman who is Dead Or Alive, no one can tell. She beat a hasty retreat from B-town and didn’t give her ardent fans a chance to bid her a proper farewell. I’m talking about one of the most gorgeous Miss Indias to have forayed into Bollywood- Meenakshi Sheshadri. Of course, lots of other Miss Indias have used the pageant as a springboard to set foot on B-town’s glittering soil but they were sorely lacking in one department or the other. Let’s have a look:

1. Zeenat Aman- Kya dekhte ho? Surat tumhari. SURE! πŸ™„ Kya chaahte ho? Chaahat tumhaari. YA RITE! πŸ˜† 100 x 100 for looks. 100 Γ· 100 for talent πŸ˜†

2. Juhi Chawla- She took her surname too seriously and must have stuffed her face with chaawal πŸ˜† Check out her bloated face and manly features exaggerated by pathetic make-up in Sultanat. Second-to-none in the acting department especially in the comedy genre.

3. Aishwarya Rai- Could easily pass off as Zeenat Aman’s progeny. Good thing she has the Bachchan tag. Something to remember her by πŸ˜‰

4. Lara Dutta- Pity we could never say “Lara kya maara!” with the career choices she made. Her husband makes up for it though! πŸ˜€

5. Priyanka Chopra- Curtly Ambrose’s lil sis jo kumbh ke mele mein bichhad gayi thi πŸ˜† Decent acting chops though!

I could go on and on but you get the drift, right? So, if Mads was the Madhubala of the 80s and the 90s, Meenakshi was the Nargis of that time. I label her so because she had what it took to make it big in the industry. An angelic look with killer talent and that makes for a lethal combination. Plus, I have this moral yardstick that I judge all actresses by and only a handful have entered the coveted ‘NOT CHAALU’ club. Meenakshi is what they call the ‘saantus’ types who went on her sanyaas at the mere hint of a proposal from director Rajkumar Santoshi. Clearly she knew it was ‘Ghaatak’ to hitch up with the morons of the industry and if she didn’t flee, she’d end up becoming ‘Ghaayal’ πŸ˜†

Damini is easily her finest till date but if SRI can pull of an English Vinglish three decades after Sadma, (shesha)DRI has it in her too to compete with her Damini. I’m really getting good at this rhyming shit! πŸ˜›

Brushing the cobwebs off my filmi dimaag has been great fun and I shall be back with a second installment of D.O.A. (Dead or Alive)

Below: THE undisputed ethereal beauty