Stupid Cupid- Part I

Being an ardent V-Day hater, I’ve always thought Cupid to be the most overrated of the Love Gods. Having witnessed the most absurd of B-town pairings in recent months, I now pronounce him daft! 😉

There’s one particular jodi that’s guaranteed to make your maatha fodi. There couldn’t be a better example of the perfect antithesis. She’s all politically correct and demure, he’s brash and immature. While her Goddess-like look makes eyes pop, he’s the proverbial dork, struts like a noisy cock and his talks make you balk. Many believe she has the best arse in the industry and the worst arsehole for a boyfriend from the industry! 😆

Meet B-Town’s official clown, the one and only, Ranveer Singh! (drumrolls)

ranveer

Circa 2010. I was genuinely excited when the trailer of Band Baaja Baraat hit the tube for the first time. The impish hero of the film seemed so in the skin of his character and was so effortlessly natural, I confess to being momentarily blinded by the brightest star on the horizon. But it took one chat show with KJo and I could stand him no more!

Like I’ve stated earlier, ‘immature’ screamed and leapt out at me the moment the man opened his mouth. It was evident Ranveer Singh brags more than he shags 😆 😆 😆 He said something to the effect of Kareena visiting his adda and stripping him of his boyhood!!! 😯 No wonder Saif landed in the hospital right around that time with cardiac complaints! 😆 😆 😆

Anyway, getting back to the show, as her retarded boyfriend kept maaraaoing fataakris, a jubilant Anushka was bursting celebratory fataakris (in her mind). She now had the full sympathy and support of the entire nation in her grand plans to ditch her conceited boyfriend.

Karan, on the other hand, who was happily munching away, nearly choked on his cookie! He was so convulsed with laughter by the sheer hilarity of the statement, I think a little bit of pee came out! 😛 Before the show got rechristened ‘Cough-Pee with Karan’, a strategically-timed ad break thankfully prevented the inevitable from happening! 😆 😆 😆

Who advertises their stupidity so blatantly on national TV? Speaking of national, a hilarious episode comes to mind involving an immigrant relation from the husband’s side who’d settled down in Holland and was hopelessly in love with his new home. So much so that he had to deride everyone and everything from the place he’d come to holiday at. Excerpts from the boastful conversation:

(At Spinney’s, one of the more upscale supermarket chains in Dubai)
Me: (checking the price tag on an exquisite Christmas tree) Wow!!! (pun intended)
He: Arre, yahaan green tree milta hai? Mere Holland mein na safed trees bikte hain.
Me: 🙄 (pretending to be stunned) Haan?!? Wow! Badiya hai!!! 🙄
Me: (inwardly grimacing) Registan mein kabhi barf girta hai kya, dodo? 😆

********************************************************************************************************************************************************
Me: (picking up a loaf of bread)
He: Arre, yahaan Dubai mein aisa saadha slice bread milta hai? Mere Holland mein na Pain milta hai!
Me: (wondering) Is he talking about himself???? Me quips surreptitiously 😀

A friend tagging around covertly and clearly eavesdropping wanted to know, “Yeh Hole-Lund Hole-Lund kya bake jaa raha tha!!!”

ROFL ROFL ROFL 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

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Anyway (wiping off a tear) there should be a law in place that warns, ‘BOAST AND YOU’RE TOAST!’

Till that happens, Ranveer would have lost Deepika who, much like a shuttlecock, seems happy to be shuttling between two cocks with similar-sounding names 😆

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2 comments on “Stupid Cupid- Part I

  1. Lol..ive had a few members of the extended family who go to the US embassy and pick up an accent and come back. Registaan me baraf girta hai kya dodo..classic Van..

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