Screw Dheela!

The debacle of Saawariya has indeed made the man a Baawariya! 😀 Who plants peacocks in the Rann of Kutch? 😯 True, Mr. SanjAESTHETIC Bhansali has a penchant for making every frame a visual treat, but peacocks in the middle of a stark desert?!? Really?!?

Furthermore, Bhansali has taken every conceivable liberty there is in his adaptation of Shakespeare’s classic. Now, don’t spill your coffee, but our desi RAMeo ekes out his living by running a…ahem… blue-film lending library!!! 😮 in the Raand of….oops Rann of Kutch! 😛

Leela, on the other hand, is easily the most wanton Juliet I have EVER seen! She just pounces on Ram and literally chews his lips off the FIRST time she sets eyes on him!!! Guys, any of you remember Claire Danes??? How innocent she seemed in every frame? How tentative and ‘sweet’ her kisses were? Leela seems like a pro(stitute) 😆 in comparison. She caresses Ram’s butt and even makes out with him in his Hall of Shame! I thought she was trying to outperform every one of those girls in Ram’s disc collection. 😛 Bhansali really should’ve roped in Sunny Leone to play Leela. The woman has the requisite expertise to pull off the raunchiness more convincingly and would have cut production costs considerably. 😆

SLB, in the future, must also remember to remunerate his dialogue writers more handsomely else there’s always the risk of his magnum opus passing off as a crude David Dhawan-esque sexfest. Leela actually quizzes Ram about ‘his size!’ 😯 No matter how horny one might be feeling, who in this day and age mouths lines like, ‘Green angoor aur peela kela!’ 😆 Sheesh! Looks like Bhansali is desperate to get Ram’s lending library to circulate his semi-porn flick after all!

BELOW: Hey Ram!

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