The Ultimate KUTTI Party

As I sat watching Entertainment, I couldn’t help thinking Vidya has some serious competition from a ‘Baal’an of the canine kind πŸ˜† Sajid-Farhad’s latest is testament enough that Filmein bas teen cheezon se chalti hain. Entertainment, Entertainment aur Entertainment. Amen! πŸ˜‰

Critics might be hell-bent on shoving the Golden Kela down the Golden Retriever’s throat but honestly, just like the shade of his lush coat, he simply is the brightest spot in the film.

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Akshay who plays Akhil Lokhande really should have been named ‘Nakal’ POORkhande πŸ˜† He’s spoofing fat guys on a Teleshopping Channel. Think the former Adnan Sami types, replete with 36B boobs and all! He even tempts a baby to latch on!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† He also masquerades as an umpire in a Borivali-Dombivali league match πŸ˜† and shows the players the finger one too many times just so that he can quickly escape and make it in time for that date.

His girlfriend, Saakshi, the over-enthusiastic soapstress, is dubbed Balaji ki Chulbullu. It’s a good thing she didn’t approach Kapil for a part. Acting chops as hammy as hers, he’d be sure to give her a humongous Babaji ka Thullu! πŸ˜€

Chakravarthi acts like a CHAKRAMvarthi πŸ˜† The miserly father buys furniture with arm rests and other vital parts missing simply because they’re cheaper! 😯 Here too, he’s in full DID mode. DIE IN DARKNESS! πŸ˜† He makes do with candlelight just so that others don’t discover the flaws and poke fun at his FUNiture. ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† He refuses to give his daughter’s hand in marriage to Akhil POORkhande.

As luck would have it, Akhil’s the DNA of Pannalal Johri, Bangkok’s noted diamond merchant, DNA being Daddy’s Naajayaz Aulaad! 😯 Johri dies, leaving behind an empire worth 3000 crores. Off trots Akhil to the land of tuk tuks to lead a life of sukh sukhs. Alas! In store lie only dukh dukhs. For the oldie bequeathed his estate to someone who does buk buks! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Slumdog millionaire indeed! πŸ˜†

In walks Akhil’s bestie, Jugnu, a DVD peddler who talks filmy. Sample this. ‘Akhil, yaar mujhe pata hai ki tera khoon Danny BOYLE ho raha hai. Tujhe agar apna future hrithik ROSHAN chahiye, toh TIGER shroff ban, ajay devGUN nikaal aur us kameene kutte KO MAAR mere Akshay Kumar!!!’ The two invest in a book describing (hilarious) methods to do away with the dog but it’s fun watching Entertainment turn the tables on the duo.

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One chapter’s titled Seduction and they almost succeed in getting the dog to elope with a rather brazen bitch. But curiosity gets the better of them and tempts them to follow the dogs deep into the woods. One misstep has Akhil slipping off the branch of a tree and landing headfirst into a hollow log. I almost peed laughing when Jugnu leaned against the same log, crying his eyes out at the failure of finding his lost friend! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Johnny Lever, as Johri’s loyal lawyer, is first rate. Named Habibullah, he’s rather touchy about anyone getting his name wrong. So you can imagine when he glides into the frame in a gondola at night hoping to scare the goons and they mistake him for and call him GORILLA, he almost gives himself away trying to correct the error. ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Another brilliant moment is towards the climax when Jugnu and Habibullah chance upon a set of knives and decide to strike the goons with them. But Jugnu’s faulty aim sees the knives flying in reverse and lodging themselves in Habibullah! Numbed with pain and shock, Habibullah stumbles jerkily into the street and peddles the knives. ‘Lelo bhai lelo, dus mein lelo. Pandhra mein lelo’ ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

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If you can forgive the frenzied Priyadarshan-style ending, where everyone is hitting everyone, the yawn-inducing villains, and some slapstick comic moments like a dog biting the villain’s crotch, you just might end up with this one in your collection like me.

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