PK chhe?

I stumbled across an absolute gem on the Saharasamay site and thought it’d be fun to pitch in my two cents πŸ˜‰ After all, I live for such articles! πŸ˜›

Our celebs must have been really high to have agreed to preen for such oopsie daisy Kodak moments! Check them out:

1. Slumdog MillionHAIR πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

image

Image Courtesy: bccl


Our in-house Ani(l) the Pooh is a favorite with all the kids, me included! Unhi ke vajah se BAAL divas aarambh kiya gaya tha! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
image

2. COOLIENG No. 1!

Nothing to beat the summer heat than wrapping yourself in cellophane, eh? By far, the most sober piece of clothing in SHOWinda’s wardrobe! πŸ˜‰

image

Image Credit: bccl

3. THE RAPIST

Sajid Khan got it bang on when he locked on TANjeet’s πŸ˜› profession as THE RAPIST in House Full 2 πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

image

Image Credit: bccl

4. The original PK!

Time to rename Hirani CHORani!
πŸ˜‰

image

Image Credit: bccl

5. Question: Main chhota sa, pyaara sa, nanha sa bachcha….complete the sentence.

Answer: paida kar sakta hoon! ROFL πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†
With a pose like that, koi SHAK(ti)? πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

image

Image Credit: Saharasamay.com

6. Meet Aditya PANTSCHORI πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

image

Image Credit: bccl

And trending at number 7,

This man surely felt like he was in heaven. WTF was KK thinking? And more importantly, WTF was AK doing? *speechless* 😯 😯 😯

image

Image Credit: bccl

Advertisements

Decoding kDO

Karan Jo really should have been christened Karan DOhar! πŸ˜€ The nation’s favorite filmmaker seems to have quite a penchant for the numeral in question. Look at him below. ROFL πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

affb7ee1297e586dc905e74ab66f6109_ls_lt

His mantra is do se zyaada nahi! πŸ˜‰ Before you think he’s been roped in by the Family Planning Commission as their brand ambassador πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† ….sorry, joke of the century! πŸ˜† ROFL…allow me to elaborate.

Barring his happy and “gay” camaraderie with King Khan πŸ˜‰ and his fondness for erstwhile-friend-now-turned-foe, Kajol, no other artist has completed a hat trick in Dharma projects where Jo wielded the megaphone.

Rani Mukherji, some might say, successfully broke the jinx, as did Farida Jalal (remember the whacky grandma in KKHH who spouted hilarious lines like “Angrez chale gaye, Almeida chhod gaye”) πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

But since cameos and bit appearances in song and dance sequences can’t really qualify as well-fleshed out, significant roles, I’ll be discounting those.

Some like Preity, Hrithik, Abhishek, and Kareena might not have had the Midas himself shaping each of their films under the Dharma banner but at least they were more fortunate than say a John, Ajay, Salman or a Saif who were ousted after just one collaboration.

Then there’s also KJo’s erstwhile strict policy of not roping in his leading ladies’ boyfriends to contend with. Poor Shahid never got a chance to set foot in the hallowed halls of Dharma. Neither will Akshay Kumar. Because of his karma, no entry into Dharma! πŸ˜› πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† Uski itni jurrat that he marries the (only) woman KJo ever pined for! πŸ˜†

Over time, KJo has gotten less rigid and mellowed quite a bit. He no longer is a jumpy, superstitious ‘K’-loving freak. He now ropes in real-life couples (think HSKD) and exes too! (YJHD) He has thankfully moved away from the soppy ‘Family is the alpha and omega of life’ to some more interesting genres. Thrillers, Romedies etc. I like that he’s sourced a fresh pool of talent to make Dharma the wholesome banner that it is and it’s heartening to see him hand over the directorial baton to the future of filmmaking in this country.

There’s his not-so-good side but overshadowing it is the brilliant side he’s revealed to us lately. A true-blue Gemini, wotsay?!?

WHAM BAM!!!

I wonder if Hrithik and Kat walked straight from the shoots of Mountain Dew and Slice, respectively, onto the sets of Bang Bang. This film sure looks like the extended disco version of the two commercials in question! πŸ˜€

After being ousted from the Dhoom camp, the unemployed & twiddling his extra thumbs πŸ˜† Duggu must have jumped at the chance to essay the role of the devilishly-cute, outrageously-sexy, thief-cum-masterchef, Rajveer. A part he can sleepwalk through by now! πŸ˜‰

On this occasion, he grows sticky fingers and plants his half-a-dozen πŸ˜† on The Kohinoor no less! 😯 As nonchalantly as I would lift a pack of Kohinoor Basmati Chawal at D-Mart! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Anyway, thereafter follows complete global mayhem. (Incompetent) Intelligence Agencies, (Impotent) Police Personnel, slimy spies, cold-blooded criminals and I think I even caught a glimpse of the hot-blooded Barbara Mori πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† hot on the heels of the perpetrator of this mind-boggling chori! πŸ˜€

It’s Around The World in 80 Minutes from then on. Destination Next is Shimla. We’re shown a Bank of Shimla which has suitably employed a ditzy Shimla Mirchi (only because Kat looks hot!) as their receptionist. The first serious bit of thinking on the scriptwriters’ part! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Miss Kaif, the untouched, virginal flower, we’re told, likes to play it safe. It would have been fitting to play ‘Zara Zara Touch Me Kiss Me’ in the background for us to sympathize with the desperation of this nun. πŸ˜‰

Dekha akhkha din mango ko chooosneka nateeja? πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰ Kabhi kabaar MAN ko bhi….ahem too explicit!!! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› Kabhi kabaar MAN ke peeche bhi jaaya karo. Phir Aamsutra ke saath saath Kamasutra ka bhi endorsement milega! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› πŸ˜€ πŸ˜†

She proceeds on a blind-date but when the (in retrospect, blind) man in question does a no-show, no prizes for guessing what ingenuity streaked through the writer’s mind. Krrish swoops in for a kiss! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

In the process of charming the pants off her, Harleen metamorphoses into a sex-starved protagonist from Harlequin! πŸ˜† She wonders aloud why Hrithik wants to lug a shiny piece of glass everywhere! 😯 That one peek into her dumb-blonde-kinda mind convinces Hrithik that his secret is safe! Unlike the others, this one is genuinely interested in the male, and not the maal! πŸ˜† She even berates him for picking this Kohinoor and would rather he picked the Kohinoor of the more useful variety found at the chemists! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜› πŸ˜†

From the Alps to Abu Dhabi, we get to witness a lot of betaabi. From Greece to Prague, in their pants is a raging aag! πŸ˜‰ Clearly, she was briefed that Hrithik’s job was to keep the golis flying and she, the cholis flying! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Quite the arduous journey watching the VIRGIN traversing the ATLANTIC, hoping for a satisfying BANGBANG and Krrish pulling off the most inane of stunts from every mode of transport ever invented that seriously makes us want to hail Aamir as the God of Action for his stellar performance in Dhoom 3! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜†

I walked into the theater thinking I’d see a desi Mentalist. Walked out feeling quite MENTALish. πŸ˜€ Steer clear!

BELOW: ‘Look Hrithik, this piece of glass is just as pretty as your Kohinoor and so much more useful! Huh! πŸ™„ ‘

10614181_569059099887535_87883825131001325_n

This one is on ma mind Knight & Day!

Individually, when seen on their own, I detest Katrina and will continue to do so, Jab Tak Hain Jaan, for her pathetic acting chops πŸ˜‰ and Hrithik for perpetually looking like a chiseled mutton chop πŸ˜†

Together, the two couldn’t work their magic on me in Chikni Chameli and Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara couldn’t tempt me to catch it Dobara! πŸ˜‰

Somehow, these two seem to have gotten lucky the third time around. With the golden highlights bouncing off his luscious curls, Indian women can finally be blinded and bedazzled by their very own Made-In-India Simon Baker. πŸ˜‰

I’m sure on waking up each morning, Kat looks the way I look after slathering on layers of greasepaint for a grand wedding reception. Prepped and primed for a shot, she undoubtedly looks like a goddess! These two look so scorching-hot in Bang Bang, I’m already imagining how cute their babies would be! πŸ˜‰

The trailers promise high-octane action. If you recall, so did those of Dhoom! πŸ™„ I remember guffawing and swearing the loudest and even hurling popcorn at Aamir’s face as he regaled? his fans with the most laughable stunts of the millennium! Indeed, that movie spelt DOOM DOOM for the genre. πŸ˜† Fingers crossed Hrithik doesn’t make us HANG HANG our heads in shame! πŸ˜‰

I quite like the music. Each song has been steadily growing on me. A very casual, clubby feel emanates from the dance tracks. Something light and airy that I can play on my IPod. Something that isn’t designed to bring on a monster-migraine-attack like that hideous snakecharmer’s composition- Malang Malang! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ The videos of BB are shot stylishly, the leads look like a million bucks in their crisply- tailored attire and everything seems so well put together. Let’s hope we get the maximum BANG for our bucks. Make that BANGBANG for our bucks!

Ta Da! Face-Off Time Guys!

image

image

image

image

TRIPE OF INDIA

So, for those of you who are on Pluto and haven’t caught a whiff of the Deepika Padukone Vs ToI Tiff, here’s what transpired between the warring factions on Twitter Sunday last.

India’s leading house of journalism, having nothing more newsworthy to publish, decided to spice up their website with stock footage of Dips in a blouse with a dipping neckline. Creative huh? πŸ™„ And the headline they came up with simply is the proverbial cherry on the icing!β€˜OMG! Deepika Padukone’s Cleavage Show!!!’ WOW! SIMPLY WOW! (Saif Ali Style πŸ˜‰ )

Miss Fanny, who I’ve always thought is diplomacy personified, has kicked ToI smack on its fanny and how!

dips 1

dips 2

dips 3

To which the ToI came back with the mother of all retorts!

dips 4

😯 😯 😯

I’ve been following the ensuing brouhaha where the entire film fraternity and rival news publications are lauding Dips for taking on such an established and powerful news syndicate by its horns. And then there are some, like the ditzy Pooja Bedi, who are milking this issue dry with the hopes of receiving a fat raise. Such loyalty towards the employer I tell you! Padhke aankh mein aasu aa gaye! πŸ˜‰

Personally, I fully understand why the TOI has to resort to such drastic measures to ensure they stay visible. Even though they source the most premium quality of paper to print their “news” on, the final product is still way inferior to the tissue roll hanging in my toilet! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† Didn’t Ranbir Kapoor say something to the same effect once? Atta Boy! πŸ˜›

I never thought that day would arrive but it has. Today’s Bombay Times is noticeably voluminous than the main newspaper (Considering the trashy Mirror as an appendage) There are sexperts like Mahinder Watsa, who in my opinion, is the greatest Indian inventor (of sexual fiction) of all time! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† This detailed and rather disgusting query had me ditching my mornin’ cuppa for good. Read it at your own risk! πŸ˜‰

Mahinder Watsa

Years ago, the collegian in me witnessed Mid Day to be a best seller in the Gents’ Compartment. No, no, I wasn’t the fly on the wall there! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ It’s just that the vendor would enter with an armload of Mid-Days that would sell like hotcakes and then enter the ladies’ compartment with the insipid Afternoon D&C, whose crosswords reaffirmed β€˜Haan main paanchvi paas se bahut zyaada tez hoon!’ πŸ˜† If Mid-Day symbolized the raunchy mate, from now on, ToI will be synonymous with voyeuristic porn.

Oops pics might titillate and be enjoyed by a few but for the larger majority, they are a major put-off. If you own such a large database of pictures that debase, by all means come out with a PlayTOI for the horny few. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜† But then you shouldn’t portray yourself to be a crusader of women’s rights. What’s the grand idea in talking about mahila shakti on Pages 1 and 2 and then giving us a glimpse of Alia’s chaddi, when her skirt accidentally rode up during a promotional event, on Page 3. That makes you the worst kind of hypocrite there ever is! πŸ™„

When you take a stand, I think it is representative of your entire conglomerate. So was Arnab’s condemning and crucifying Nirbhaya’s heinous rapists just a farce? Or was she spared from such humiliating objectification just because she didn’t have a wow cleavage a la Miss Padukone?

Getting back to dips,The ToI might have showed us her cleavage but the girl showed us she’s got balls! As Alia puts it so succinctly,

dips 5

I’m euphoric you’ve finally got what was coming to you, you Tribe of Idiots (ToI)! πŸ˜† And here’s a little treat from the far-superior Hindu to buoy that euphoria a little more. Enjoy!

There’s KOMthing about Mary!

When Holiday released, the only clue that tipped me off about SonHATHI being a boxer were her bright neon XXXL BOXERS! πŸ˜† So badly has the daughter of KHAMOSH sullied a boxing great’s image, Laila Ali must have definitely fallen BEHOSH πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

MC Mary Kom certainly won’t go into a KOMA πŸ˜† when she watches her biopic.

The story of Mary Kom- The Film tries hard to trace the life-story of Mary Kom- The Legend. Of her impoverished upbringing in an obscure Manipuri household, of her frugal education, of her fractured relationship with a conservative father, of the simmering anger within her, of her belligerent foray into a sport as intense and brutal as boxing, of her rise to fame and the subsequent bleakness of anonymity brought on by marriage and motherhood, and finally of her determination to redeem herself as one of Asia’s formidable pugilists.

Phew! Quite a commendable journey that! But Mr. SLB (Sanjay Leela Bhansali) insists on behaving like a SOB! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† He liberally peppers fact with fiction. We want an unadulterated BIOPIC Mr. Bhansali. We never desired to BUY-YOUR-FIC(tion) πŸ˜‰

The young Mary Kom, testosterone-ridden to the point of beating the shit outta every boy in Manipur, has been shown to join the sport only to give direction to the anger consuming her. Man(i)pur ki Man-eater, eh? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†
In reality, Kom took up boxing after being heavily inspired by another boxing luminary, Dingko Singh.

Which makes me wonder if SLB has shown Kom sharing such an uneasy equation with her father, just for the sake of melodrama. The real Papa Kom might have forbidden his daughter from taking up the sport as it would mar her pretty face and make her SCARY Kom instead πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† which in turn would derail her chances of finding marriage alliances. But I’m not so sure if he was completely in the dark and learnt of his daughter’s advent into the sport only through the tabloids! I mean who does that, besides Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, breaking the news of her breakup to Vivek Oberoi in the TOI? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

Before painting Papa Kom as a monster, SLB should have paused to reflect that woh ugaata hai Chaawal, ukhaadta nahi hai like the villainous Paresh Rawal! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

And I can bet my bottom dollar that Papa didn’t scream ATTACK! sitting in his living room for Mary to hear thousands of miles away that propelled her to deliver that winning blow! 😯 Sheesh! Aaj kal tadka gravies mein hi nahi, biographies mein bhi daalne lage hai! πŸ˜†

As if this wasn’t enough, there are plenty of product endorsements we must silently endure. Was Mankind’s Prega News Home Pregnancy Test available at the beginning of mankind πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† considering Kom had her bonny boys close to a decade ago? πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€ We are enlightened to the fact that Havmor ice-cream was her craving and are given a quick lesson in patriotism when the camera pans in on Tata Salt in her pantry. Aakhir Kom ne desh ka namak jo khaaya hai! 😯

Piggy Chops packs in quite a punch. After subtracting 1 point for her fake Manipuri accent (which sounded more like my Gurkha’s Nepalese btw πŸ˜† πŸ˜† – Aai Shalaam Shaaib, tumrah bocha aaj khelne ko aaya nahi neeche) πŸ˜† performance-wise, she stands neck-to-neck with her unbeatable Jhilmil. From now on, she’s officially Piggy BOX! πŸ˜‰

Pee Cee’s spirited act is the only redeeming feature of this feature film. Sadly, that’s just what it is. An act. However superb! Wish they’d scratched beyond the surface of Mary Kom’s brawn. Woh toh already Wiki pe text form mein available hai FOR FREE! πŸ˜‰

Now here are some pics that speak volumes about the real Mary Kom. Enjoy!

mary_kom_nailpaint_320x240

Bhansali-Movie-about-olympic-athlete-Mary-Kom

mary_kom_playing_guitar_320x240

mary-sons1

1933083

The Ultimate KUTTI Party

As I sat watching Entertainment, I couldn’t help thinking Vidya has some serious competition from a ‘Baal’an of the canine kind πŸ˜† Sajid-Farhad’s latest is testament enough that Filmein bas teen cheezon se chalti hain. Entertainment, Entertainment aur Entertainment. Amen! πŸ˜‰

Critics might be hell-bent on shoving the Golden Kela down the Golden Retriever’s throat but honestly, just like the shade of his lush coat, he simply is the brightest spot in the film.

entertainment-movie-screens-distribution

Akshay who plays Akhil Lokhande really should have been named ‘Nakal’ POORkhande πŸ˜† He’s spoofing fat guys on a Teleshopping Channel. Think the former Adnan Sami types, replete with 36B boobs and all! He even tempts a baby to latch on!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† He also masquerades as an umpire in a Borivali-Dombivali league match πŸ˜† and shows the players the finger one too many times just so that he can quickly escape and make it in time for that date.

His girlfriend, Saakshi, the over-enthusiastic soapstress, is dubbed Balaji ki Chulbullu. It’s a good thing she didn’t approach Kapil for a part. Acting chops as hammy as hers, he’d be sure to give her a humongous Babaji ka Thullu! πŸ˜€

Chakravarthi acts like a CHAKRAMvarthi πŸ˜† The miserly father buys furniture with arm rests and other vital parts missing simply because they’re cheaper! 😯 Here too, he’s in full DID mode. DIE IN DARKNESS! πŸ˜† He makes do with candlelight just so that others don’t discover the flaws and poke fun at his FUNiture. ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† He refuses to give his daughter’s hand in marriage to Akhil POORkhande.

As luck would have it, Akhil’s the DNA of Pannalal Johri, Bangkok’s noted diamond merchant, DNA being Daddy’s Naajayaz Aulaad! 😯 Johri dies, leaving behind an empire worth 3000 crores. Off trots Akhil to the land of tuk tuks to lead a life of sukh sukhs. Alas! In store lie only dukh dukhs. For the oldie bequeathed his estate to someone who does buk buks! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Slumdog millionaire indeed! πŸ˜†

In walks Akhil’s bestie, Jugnu, a DVD peddler who talks filmy. Sample this. ‘Akhil, yaar mujhe pata hai ki tera khoon Danny BOYLE ho raha hai. Tujhe agar apna future hrithik ROSHAN chahiye, toh TIGER shroff ban, ajay devGUN nikaal aur us kameene kutte KO MAAR mere Akshay Kumar!!!’ The two invest in a book describing (hilarious) methods to do away with the dog but it’s fun watching Entertainment turn the tables on the duo.

It’s-Entertainment-Movie-Still-1

One chapter’s titled Seduction and they almost succeed in getting the dog to elope with a rather brazen bitch. But curiosity gets the better of them and tempts them to follow the dogs deep into the woods. One misstep has Akhil slipping off the branch of a tree and landing headfirst into a hollow log. I almost peed laughing when Jugnu leaned against the same log, crying his eyes out at the failure of finding his lost friend! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Johnny Lever, as Johri’s loyal lawyer, is first rate. Named Habibullah, he’s rather touchy about anyone getting his name wrong. So you can imagine when he glides into the frame in a gondola at night hoping to scare the goons and they mistake him for and call him GORILLA, he almost gives himself away trying to correct the error. ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Another brilliant moment is towards the climax when Jugnu and Habibullah chance upon a set of knives and decide to strike the goons with them. But Jugnu’s faulty aim sees the knives flying in reverse and lodging themselves in Habibullah! Numbed with pain and shock, Habibullah stumbles jerkily into the street and peddles the knives. ‘Lelo bhai lelo, dus mein lelo. Pandhra mein lelo’ ROFL! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

u8tq6rwbtzaapfhq.D.0.Johnny-Lever-Krishna-Abhishek-Entertainment-Film-Pic

If you can forgive the frenzied Priyadarshan-style ending, where everyone is hitting everyone, the yawn-inducing villains, and some slapstick comic moments like a dog biting the villain’s crotch, you just might end up with this one in your collection like me.

Dumb and HUMPer!

My lil tyke’s latest obsession is mobile phones. After dunking my husband’s Note in a bucketful of water, those cheap, China-made plastic mobiles you get outside Borivli station are the closest he’ll ever get to a cellphone! πŸ˜† Anyway, the first one we got him was a sleek BlackCherry!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† He’s currently on his Naakia LOO-MEIN-AAA!!!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

I find the names of these fakes highly amusing. Simply love the names they’re saddled with. EyeFone, Phony, Adidos..hell, even Yike! πŸ˜†

Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya (HSKD) is one such fake that felt more like an insult than a tribute to the evergreen romance story that is DDLJ. Debutant director Khaitan’s name itself is testament enough that he’s a massive PANKHA of the greatest love story of our times but my shanka of him butchering it beyond redemption proved to be true.

OK, so there’s dumb Alia from Ambala πŸ˜† who’ll settle for nothing less than a Manish Malhotra-designed-lehenga for her impending wedding. We’re told it costs a full five lakhs, the value obviously lost on Alia! Check it out:

Humpty 1

Humpty 2

Humpty 3

Off she trots to the capital with the capital in hand in pursuit of a lehenga but instead, ends up nanga! πŸ˜› So much for blowing up five lakhs on a lehenga! πŸ™„

Saari life besharmi ki heights, Ek Tu, Ek Main aur Ho dim dim yeh lights would make for the perfect background score for HUMPty BESHARM(a) takes his name rather literally! πŸ˜› After deflowering every filly in Dilli, he sets his sights on this exotic Ambala ki kali. Everyone knows that the smart-allecky gimmicks will eventually lead to a sizzling kiss. After all, Alia Emraan Hashmi aka non-stop smooch karnewala Amaron Kissme ki behen jo thehri! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜† Par jaise powder ke saath tikiya free aur toothpaste ke saath toothbrush free milta hai, yahaan smooch ke saath bahut koooch mila dekhne ko! πŸ˜†

Humpty 4

After kahi saari suhaag raatein, Alia leaves to get married to Sid aka Shiv from Balika Vadhu! 😯 Dhawan follows hoping to be THE ONE. Masquerading as a waiter, he dies by day. His reward? DO by night! πŸ˜› This movie indeed is a ROM(P)COM! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Remember Lajja Shankar, the maniacal, fanatical villain from Sangharsh? (Coincidentally Alia played a young Zinta in that film) Brace yourselves, guys! He’s Alia’s baoji in the film. The director should have named him Lajja here cuz that’s exactly what he feels when he catches HUMPty Dumpty SITTING ON HIS DOLL!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

download (1)

Baoji here is a softer-hearted version of the kadak Puri Raj couldn’t bite through in DDLJ. He promises Varun Alia’s hand in marriage if he can find one flaw in Sid. But Shiv, like his mythological namesake is perfect, having it all! Here’s what happens next:

Humpty 5

Sid is flabbergasted, but decides to give his alliance with Alia one last shot. He catches up with her in the sarson ka khet…the one she’s watering on Farmville!!! Excerpts from their conversation:

Humpty 6

Humpty 7

Humpty 8

Humpty 9

Sid decides to try a different tack.

Humpty 10

Humpty 13

Humpty 14

Not the one to accept defeat, Sid decides to go easy on Alia and ask her some basic G.K. questions.

Humpty 11

Humpty 15

Just then, Varun strides in so Sid decides to grill them both.

Humpty 16

Humpty 17

Sid runs for his life. With Alia’s father’s blessings, of course! πŸ˜†

Humpty 18

Meanwhile, the two fools pledge their stupidity to each other for life among other things. They come home to Baoji to receive his blessings. Here’s what the newly-weds are gifted:

Humpty 19

THE END (THANK GOD!!!)

The Korean CHORean!

Given the rate at which the Suris and Bhatts of this world ‘MURDER’ unsuspecting Korean flicks- Coincidence they have a ‘Murder’ franchise?! πŸ˜† I wouldn’t be surprised if our chinky-eyed brethren decide to stick churis up their butts! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

This time around, the Korean CHORean πŸ˜† has rifled through his humongous South-East-Asian DVD collection yet again! In the process of toning down the gore, the Cut-Copy-Paste specialist has transformed a classic into an absolute bore! Ek Villain is pure tripe- terribly watered-down and pathetically farcical!

A look at the main characters:

Shraddha Kaoor as Ayesha. However, looking at her antics, I think she was still playing Aarohi FIRKI πŸ˜†

Sid MalHOTra as Guru. Way to go boy! From Student of the Year less than two years ago to Guru! Impressive!!! πŸ˜†

Riteish Deshmukh as Rakesh/ Rakshas Mahadkar

Aamna Sharif– Biwi kam, greedy zyaada. Not so sharif after all! πŸ˜‰

Let’s start with the girl I love to hate! πŸ˜‰ You didn’t think you could steal ARK from me and earn bouquets too, eh Shraddha? πŸ˜›

Scene 1: At Aarohi Shirke aka Aayesha’s adda.

EV1

Yaaaaaaaaaa….Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! AAAOOOOOOOOOOOOch!!!! πŸ˜‰

Looks like it indeed was a good screw! πŸ˜› πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Scene 2: In the Mahadkars’ kholi.

EV2

EV3

EV4

Scene 3: Rakesh with the ultimate misogynist Kamaal R Khan at the pool.

EV5

Scene 4: Guru moping at home.

EV6

Scene 5: Now Guru miraculously chances upon Rakesh’s son in a church, telltale chakri in tow.

EV7

Scene 6: Guru tails the cheeky lad who leads him (inadvertently) to his father. Each time Rakesh descends on his prey, Guru gets in the way.

EV8

EV9

Scene 7: Frustrated, Rakesh tries to seek solace in a dance bar.

EV10

In his drunken stupor, Rakesh is unaware that Guru shoves a GPS tracker up his arse. The graphics are a little too vivid for me to post them up here! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

Scene 8: Later, that night at the Mahadkar residence. Mrs. Mahadkar rustles up an explosive dish. Daliya garnished liberally with Farty Aaloos. (humming softly) Meri daliya, daliya meri daliya, tujhe tadpaaye daliya meri daliya πŸ˜† πŸ˜€ πŸ˜†

EV11

The next morning, the tracker flew with a great velocity… and landed close to where Rakesh PAADHkar was squatting! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

On the railway tracks, of course!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

A sequel awaits! 😯