Race 2 the Exit!

Poor Shakespeare got it all wrong when he trivialized the importance of a name.  After watching Race 2, I’m convinced a lot rides on it and if only Abbas-Mustan had to add two extra words, ‘THE EXIT’, to the title of their film, the world would have been a much sweeter place!

So, here’s another scathing review, something I seem to be getting good at with each passing Friday 😉

  1. Ab Bas!: This whitewashed director-duo 😆 who have a penchant for the greys clearly lost the plot after the last sensible movie they made 21 years ago! Abbas grabbed virtually every mm of space available in my bible (the BT) making pompous claims of Race 2 being THE film to rock 2013. Apophis couldn’t do it, Race 2 kya khaak karega? 😆
  2. Lace 2: Skin and Sex are the new substitutes for Substance in Bollywood. Plenty of cleavage and derriere, in ZOOM MODE, to keep things RACEy 😛
  3. Cherry on the Icing: That Ameesha, an Economics gold medalist 😯 has a cherry-seed-sized brain is something that I always suspected. But after reading her interview that it was tough to essay the part of the ditzy assistant, Cherry, begging for the clever robber Robert 😆 to rob her of her virginity and pop her cherry 😆 I think I’ll die laughing before I can complete this sentence…..hahahahhahahahahahhaha…Classic piece of casting! Couch and all! 😉
  4. Laath nahi lagi?: Ummm…anyway…(regaining composure)…Moving over to the other Lolita- tacky Jackie 😛 “Lat Lag Gayi” was to be her “Kiss Me, Touch Me”. Achcha hua laath nahi lagi for proving to us that you have two left feet 🙄
  5. Shake Your Bon Bon, Jon: After prancing about on Miami’s sun-kissed beach in a pair of barely-there yellow chaddies, how could a sedate cagefight be orgasmic? Jonny boy, what were you thinking when you said this is your ‘item number’ for your female fans?!?
  6. Moving over to another John. John McClane: I loooooooove John McClane! Like wine, he gets better with age 😉 There was this one scene of him killing a copter with a maamuli-sa sedan in DH4. Back then, I thought it was one of the most contrived pieces of shit I’ve ever seen. Boy, was I wrong! The car in Race 2 kills a burning airplane and even sprouts a few parachutes out its sides to scare us with the prospect of another lame sequel 😮
  7. East or West, India is the best?: If you’ve never visited Turkey, don’t bother! You can see it in its full glory for less than 500 bucks in Race 2 😀 What’s ironic is that while our B-town directors are busy scouring every nook and corner on this planet to showcase a new destination in their next, Hollywood filmmakers are looking Eastwards for inspiration. Danny Boyle struck gold in the filthy bylanes of Dharavi. Apna Dharavi! Par ghar ki murghi daal baraabar, nahi?

Anil Kapoor (not sex-starved anymore, thank goodness! Hollywood needs to be credited in this regard :twisted:) said in a recent interview that Race 2 was pure, unadulterated fun. Sure! At our expense! No wonder they’re on such a high!


Steer clear of this one if you don’t want to be left feeling gobsmacked on such a joyous weekend.

Yo! Bhaag Milkha Bhaag..Aur Tezz Bhaag!!!

So, there was this intriguing full page ad of the Flying Sikh in today’s BT. A barely recognizable Farhan Akhtar looks pretty impressive in his get-up as India’s sprinting legend in Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s next.

When you have a title like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, it follows that speed and time are of the essence. But when you have a release date set as…I kid you not!…July 12, 2013!!!  It’s like the mother of all ironies!!! 😆

July 2012 seems like a gazillion years away! Public memory being short, I doubt anybody would remember today’s poster 7 months hence (assuming there’s no further money pumped into periodic publicity). Such wasteful spending!

It’s a long wait…I just wish our ‘filmy’ Milkha would run faster into the theaters! 😀