Okay, so check it out! Verona’s transformed into Varana-si :lol:, the Montagues have metamorphosed into the Mishras πŸ˜† and the Capulets into Kashyaps! πŸ˜† Same same akshar, same same swar! What an ‘original’ idea, Tiwary Sir (ji)!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

If the man was hoping for success, he’s in luck! Issaq SUCKS (with a capital) S!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Not much has changed since his first outing at the movies with Dil Dosti Etc. Issaq too should have come with the suffix. That’d be warning enough! There’s so much happening besides the love story, sub-plots as plentiful and convoluted as the strands of hair on the eccentric Makarand KESHpandey’s head! :lol::lol: πŸ˜†

Maverick Makarand, a sadhu on the Banarasi ghats, is shown to be happily doing ganja. For once I wished he was Ganja! Perhaps then Issaq’s story would be a little more coherent. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Okay, so there’s Rahul…erm..the desi Romeo, whose name coincidentally starts with an ‘R’ πŸ™„ He ain’t any different from all the Rahuls we’ve seen so far. A quintessential playboy, he’s seen lusting after the saucy EVILyn Sharma πŸ˜› Wait a minute! Wasn’t there a cute Bawi in this movie???

Just as I’m trying to figure this one out, there’s a vampish Paro thrown in my face who appears to have all the carnal desires that Chandramukhi possessed πŸ˜† Had this Paro starred in Devdas, Khan would never have have taken his Jaan! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Anyway, this very-much-married woman has the hots for the devilish Ravi KISSen 😯

No sooner did they unveil the Bhojpuri-spouting rascal, my mind was forced to come to terms with a Naxal! A Mallu Naxalite at that!!! And the more hilarious part is yet to come! He’s called ‘Madrasi’!!!!!! More like ‘MURDERASI’!!!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

The Mishras and the Kashyaps are fighting for supremacy over the sand mines, the blood-thirsty Naxal is a bloody swine, Prateik appears to like to two-time, EVILyn has a brain the size of a dime, Paro doesn’t think sleeping with her husband’s relative is a crime, Bachchi looks rather kachchi though she’s doing her level best to shine and the whole damn movie seemed to be such a colossal waste of time! πŸ˜†

A bit about the acting. The tubelight in my living room has been winking at the ceiling fan for the past two days and the latter seems to be spinning more happily than ever before! πŸ˜€ It wouldn’t be wrong to say their chemistry is far more crackling than what the leads in Issaq share! πŸ˜›

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, but Prateik undoubtedly is the biggest prateek of bad acting! πŸ˜† Judging by the calibre of performances extracted, I wonder if Manish Tiwary paid him just Rs. 12? πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Amyra is a Garib performer πŸ˜† She pronounced special as ‘Suppesial’ just the way the Northies do. But the Banarasi suddenly did a volte face and turned into the-perfect-English-speaking Parsi! She declares ‘Main Virgin Hoon’ as impeccably as Richard Branson would pronounce the V-word!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

At intermission, my friend literally fell to my feet begging ‘Chal let’s khisak!” I happily obliged. I didn’t really care whether Paro would succeed in pulling off a fantastic orgy in the climax πŸ˜› or the desi Romeo and Juliet would defy all odds and live happily ever after. As far as I was concerned, they’d murdered the original star-crossed lovers yet again with their pathetic tribute.

Prateik, Daddy ko zara poochna ki baarah rupaiye mein chudiyaan milti hain ke nahin? :P

Prateik, Daddy ko zara poochna ki baarah rupaiye mein chudiyaan milti hain ke nahin? πŸ˜›