Jiah Laage Naa Tum Bin Hamra

MAN!!! Apparently who’s no more is Jiah Khan!!!

Yes, the same girl who’d succeeded in making men and women alike ‘NISHABD’, way back in 2007. For entirely different reasons though! 😉

The very same girl who made us realize that the letter B resembles a ‘Bum’ and that’s what the Big B really is! 😛

Anyway, this is the girl who created a B-town record of sorts. Show me one girl who’s been lucky enough to star alongside THE BIGGEST names of Bollywood, back-to-back, in the first two projects of her career…

The third, and unfortunately, final movie on her resume- Housefull, was also quite a decent venture. I really enjoyed that scene of her warding off ‘Aakhiri Pasta’s’ lustful smooch in her reel life. 😆 But what’s not funny is her opting for the Aakhiri Raasta in real life. 😦

Suicide is something that always succeeds is making me ‘nishabd’. I wonder what possessed her into snuffing her precious life at such a tender age.

If it was professional failure that goaded her into taking such an extreme step, I wish she’d looked at her peers. She literally would have thanked her stars! Pun Intended!!! 😀 (For not committing the irreversible mistake that she just did!)

Whenever I see a piece on Uday Chopra in the papers, I inadvertently hold my breath. I always have thought him to be the most likely candidate for plunging to an untimely death. If in life, we’ve known him as Uday Chopra, in death, it’ll still be close enough. ‘Udi’ Chopra. 😆
To always walk in the shadow of your extremely successful sibling can be highly frustrating, but look at the lad! He cares a F@*# as to what people think of him and cares for a F@*#… Oops Fakhri!!! 😆 😆 😆

Then there’s Tusshaar. It’s doubly frustrating when there are two big success stories you need to eclipse. But the Hushaar boy has never drowned in his gham. Instead he has always wisely kept mum and excelled slowly but steadily at Dumb-Charades-Dumb. Now you know how he pulls off that ‘totla’ act with such aplomb! 😀

Matching up to three family members with talent and beauty worth a million dollars can make anyone get hot under the collar. But nothing can shake the indomitable AbhiSHAKE. And now that baby Aaradhya’s here, Aby’s Baby no longer feels that he’s the least best at things! 😛

Each of these gentlemen had a lot more credibility to lose and a lot more flak to gain each time they failed. But thankfully good sense prevailed.

If it was personal failure, Bipasha Basu should have been dead a long time ago! Instead, she still sheds copious amounts of Aasu publicly but is very much hale and hearty 😆

Thank goodness Kareena didn’t pull off a SHAHID Bhagat Singh stunt on herself after her relationship with Sasha went kaput 😀
Instead, she became more guarded, played ‘SAIF’ 😉 and finally made it large! Begum of Pataudi, no less!!!! 😆

RIP Jiah! You’re certainly not the first and you surely won’t be the last. You did what you had to do and there’s no turning back now…yet nothing, absolutely nothing in life warrants such a drastic measure cuz suicide can never ever give you true closure.

BELOW: Ethereal!

Jiaah

Jiah

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SINcredible India!

MP ajab hai, sabse gazab hai….

Of course it is!!! Who knew a bunch of khajurs from the land of Khajuraho would choose to make this prophetic by sexually assaulting a Swiss visitor. 

Barely has the furore surrounding the Swiss gangrape died down, there are reports of a British national leaping from her second-floor room at a Lucknowi hotel and limping to the nearest police station in a grievous condition to report the attempted rape by the hotel’s manager and a staff member.

Post these dastardly acts, the makers of ‘Incredible India’ will certainly have to be on the ‘Talaash’ for Aamir for any future campaigns.

Advertisements mein kya dikha rahe the? Don’t make susu on the road, don’t fling kele ka chhilkas into people’s unsuspecting faces and stuff.
Instead, they should have educated us to strip off all preconceptions of them firangs being the “morally loose” kinds and of them being ” readily available” to satisfy our lust. And no! Wearing only a bra and a thong does not mean the woman wants you to gape or is sending you feelers to rape!

Atithidevo Bhava, by no stretch of imagination, can be construed to mean Atithirapo Hava(s).

BELOW: An exclamation mark can change the entire meaning of a word, and not always in a good way!

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From Talaash to Goulash

They first attributed the delay in release owing to similarities with Sujoy Ghosh’s masterpiece, Kahaani. Then they insinuated that its plot borrows heavily from ‘Anniyan’, a 2005 Tamil blockbuster and from the grim 2010 Di Caprio starrer ‘Shutter Island’.
And all this while Aamir and his team kept mum. After all, any publicity is good publicity, right?

I can safely certify that Talaash is nothing like any of the flicks cited above. If anything, it’s far more superlative in terms of performances.

Aamir gets into the skin of his character- a tormented soul trying to exorcise his demons by diving headlong into his work. Another stellar job, yet another feather in his cap.

Rani is a breath of clean, fresh air- a clean look, and a clean act, consolidating her position as the Queen of Bollywood.

Kareena is lethal- right from the provocative swaying of her hips to her killer histrionics.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui, the brash, unapologetic special agent in Kahaani does a complete U-Turn as a shady, limping pimp. And if the jury left it to me, he’d be the one getting all the accolades from amongst this bunch of supremely talented actors.

But alas! An actor is only as good as the script and while Talaash is majorly a slow-paced, brilliantly constructed film, its climax was an unappetizing goulash (mish-mash) of sorts.

Without giving the suspense away, I thought it was the desi version of an acclaimed Hollywood psychological thriller that gave us all goosebumps in the last millennium. And another supernatural/horror flick that the Bhatt camp has been milking dry for the last decade or so.

I was reminded of the great fear that consumed me prior to entering the Haunted House at Essel World…the cold sweat trickling down my back…the sudden rush of adrenaline…and I don’t even want to elaborate on how I felt when I was back out in the sunlight!

Talaash’s twist is that nonsensical, that infuriating and THAT big a letdown! It might have been better to share Kahaani’s climax and end on a sensible note than reshoot it in a panic on a half-baked idea!

And here’s what stumps me. A man with as strong a business acumen as AK would want to co-produce a flaccid Talaash!? Not 3 Idiots, not even Ghajini, but this!?

There’s a method to his madness, everyone close to him insists. Still on the talaash for that!!! 😆

BELOW: Nothing can describe angst and the general tone of the movie better than this still.

rani-photo-clicked-during-acting-talaash

Ab Tak Hai Yawn!

I loooove freebies! Who doesn’t??!! Ek pe ek free…ho hum! Ek pe do free….hmmm I’m listening! Ek pe teen free…alright, bring it on!!! Ek pe chaar free…..ooooh, orgasmic! 😉

JTHJ gives you 5 for the price of 1! A mish mash of several SRK greats- DDLJ, Fauji, Dil Se, Chak De and a generous dollop of Ghajini! Plus a liplock from the otherwise “celibate main leads” thrown in for good measure!

Certainly the last SRK- Yash Chopra collaboration, I had high expectations from the undisputed Kings of Romance, positioned in front of the camera, and behind.  They were good, like in all their previous ventures. Just not brilliant!

JTHJ showed me everything I’ve seen before, albeit done with greater finesse.

Samar Anand was a more haggard version of the Raj’s and Rahul’s we’ve seen in the past. Understandably so. But when one does all that he did two decades ago, I would say ‘Dude, move on!’

Akira was akin to our desi Shakira :D, jiggling and wiggling her lithe body dangerously. And if you thought she was loud in BBB, just wait till you watch her put even those deafening bombs to shame in JTHJ! 😀

And then, moving on to the poor little rich girl, whom all us envious girls love to hate. A pretty dumb bimbo- you can add a comma to the sentence if you like, and it’d still read the same! 😀

It’s embarrassing to watch Kat in the same frame as seasoned pros like a SRK or an Amitabh or even an Aamir. And no, it ain’t because of her clothes! 😉

KATS look best with someone from their own family- the TIGER!!! Now we all know that animals can’t act. They can only entertain and there’s a separate genre of mindless cinema conceived with them in mind. Sorry, I’m not BEING HUMAN now! 😀

But you now know where I’m heading- take all the Dabanggs & Mere Brother Ki Dulhans. But leave the Barfis, Rajneetis, Kahaanis & Talaashs to the experts.

Speaking of seasoned and mature, they say the older the wine, the headier it is. YRF served me old wine in a new bottle for Diwali. The hangover never came, and the yawns just won’t go! Would this continue till Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan! Scary thought, that!

BELOW: The ‘impotent’ wine that did nothing for me!

In Search of Talaash


It’s amazing how many flicks B-Town churns out each year and how many of them are actually watch-worthy. 2012 started on a  good note with Kahaani, then there was another sweet kahaani of Barfi and now, finally, the mother of all kahaanis, Talaash, is set for a grand holiday release.

Aamir Khan has NEVER EVER disappointed. Though I’ve followed his career only post Fanaa, he’s what they call the man with the Midas touch. I loooooooved Taare Zameen Par and I think his histrionics in it are second to none. 3 Idiots made me desperately want to join their clique as the 4th. Idiot!  😀 And now, my search for a bloody good Bollywood flick ends with Talaash.

The trailers have an air of mystery to them.  I have a feeling that Rani and Aamir are married and that something bad, really bad,  has happened to their adorable boy. How the mustachioed Aamir avenges his son’s death is what  forms the crux of Talaash.

But it may not be all that straightforward, a la Ghajini. For starters, Aamir wouldn’t pick a similar role twice in his career. Secondly, this is an Excel Entertainment release- one that has doled out  Karthik calling Karthik where, well, the title was all too telling! Rumor has it that Talaash: The Answer Lies Within shares a lot in common with Kahaani, hence the delays in release. If so, I wouldn’t be surprised if Inspector Shekhawat has something brewing in his head and all the answers lie within that internal universe of his, as the tagline of the movie goes!

Jee Le Zara, with Vishal’s grainy voice, is my favorite …..such a haunting track and Rani’s expressions in it are to die for! Her true-to-life portrayal of a middle-class housewife who’s lost every reason to live with the loss of her son is simply A+++++++++. Her raccoon eyes that see everything, yet register nothing, the torment engulfing her soul, the painful gulping of emotions threatening to choke her…WOW!

The awkward silence between Aamir and her seems to be accusing them both for the tragedy they’re forced to come to terms with.  Only and only Rani could slip under the skin of Mrs. Shekhawat with such effortlessness! I wouldn’t be surprised if her restrained performance eclipses those of Aamir’s and Kareena’s.

My talaash for exciting cinema ends on Nov. 30th. Does yours?

Image Courtesy: www.cinebasti.comImage Courtesy: www.cinebasti.com

See-Taara Zameen Par!

I know, I know. It’s beginning to look like a Ranbir Kapoor –dominated blog! But main kya karoon main kya karoon, main kya karoon, main kya karoon, main kya karoon, main kya karoon, main kyaaaa karoon? 😉

He’s the flavour of every season and with good reason. Here’s why.

Okay, so getting to the point, it’s been raining awards on RK. He’s swept literally every Best Actor award there was in 2011 and with a stellar performance this year in Barfi, he had better start revising all those ‘Thank you’ speeches and adding a few more shelves to his trophy cupboard.

I watched him on the sets of Jhalak Dikhla Jaa last night and on some Comedy Circus kinda program a few days ago. And looking at his body language on both shows, I thought there’s one award that needs to be given to him PRONTO! The Humble Superstar Award!

He’s one SUPERDUPER STAR with none of the starry airs we’ve come to associate with his types. Look at how snooty Priyanka Chopra came across on JDJ and you’ll know what I mean. I felt like chopping that little piggy to pieces! 😉

Anyway, watch him listen intently to the judges comment on every performance. He’s way superior in the dancing department than every contestant on JDJ, yet it seemed that he was absorbing every word spoken as if it was valuable feedback meant for his own improvement.

The gracious gentleman that he is, he spontaneously approached Isha with a rose as she was feeling so low due to her injury and also danced an elegant waltz with her to boost her morale. I found him a couple of notches wittier than the  pompous host Manish and it was so cute to see him jump eagerly into the fray, just to be a part of Bharti’s crazy antics.

Being a Kapoor hasn’t affected his modesty. Being proclaimed the ‘country’s finest actor’ by an acclaimed actress like Madhuri made him cringe uncomfortably and  flash us that warm, heart-melting smile. I appreciated the fact that like other stars, he didn’t stoop down to make the episode just another promotional event and barrage us viewers with requests to go catch his movie. Instead, he elevated its entertainment quotient to an altogether new high.

Hats off to such a grounded personality. Mr. Aamir Khan, you listening? Now you know whom to cast in the sequel of TZP 🙂

 

Indeed, Ranbir’s the bravest of them all!

It certainly wasn’t a case of love at first sight. Not even when he dropped his towel on me! …In the theatre, silly! 😉 Then came Bachna Ae Haseeno. Although everybody who comprised the fairer sex was swooning over his chocolate-boy looks, I felt quite safe from his charms. 🙂

Then came a gem of a movie. Sadly, it whizzed out of the theatres faster than a rocket! I’ve always felt this was a movie made well ahead of its time and all greats like this one have never quite earned the respect due to them in their era. So, well! But this was the turning point. Here is when I felt the youngest of the Kapoor lads was something and wouldn’t bring shame to such an illustrious family name.

I didn’t care much for Ajab Prem ki Ghajab Kahaani– too slapstick for me! And I skipped Rajneeti. I still don’t know why! (scratching head)

I must say I took an instant liking to the bleary-eyed, good-for-nothing Sid- who finally woke up to a middle-class life fraught with challenges and struggles, a life loaded with meaning where you can’t afford to take anything for granted.

And call me crazy, but I felt he had potential when I saw his first item number, ‘Tai Tai Fish’! Those tapori moves and killer expressions were, as Madhuri Dixit would say, PURRRFECT! 🙂

Then came Rockstar and he metamorphosed into the Janata’s Janardhan, the darling of the masses! OMG, this guy was seriously rocking it at the BO with each release! I read somewhere that his name means brave warrior. The adjective holds true for all his risky career choices too na? At least Aamir Khan thinks so. Here’s what he had to say about Ranbir.

And now, with Barfi, I’m beginning to think this guy competes with no one but himself and that’s how he ups the ante with each film. I won’t say anything about his performance, in keeping with the ‘tone’ of the movie. But go watch him sweeten your soul with a name just as sweet!

P.S. No, I still maintain my stance. He’s not supremely good-looking, just a regular-looking guy IMHO. But, I’d grab him in a jiffy for the pure talent he’s brimming with. I feel honoured to be around at a time when he’s in the movies. Each generation produces a few immortal gems that shine forever. Ranbir, Aamir,  and Vidya undoubtedly qualify for this honor from the film fraternity. More on this later.

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Image Courtesy: Dabboo Ratnani