Die, Flee Or Bear!

A more apt title for I, Me Aur Main! πŸ˜€

Aye Max, John ka pata nahi, par Jagga Daku AB RAHAM nahi karega!

This was the spine-chilling warning issued by one John to another in the buildup to possibly the most moronic of climaxes B’wood is famed for. Superbly coined by the incorrigible Sajid Khan, I’ve always had to reach out for my Hajmolas n Hingolis each time I hear it. My stomach aches that bad from all the laughing πŸ˜†

Anyway, little did I know how prophetic that statement would be! After watching the shitfest that is I,M&M, even us law-abiding citizens won’t have any RAHAM on Johnny Gaddar? and taking a cue from Jagga Daku, we’d be more than happy to wield our CHAAKUS πŸ˜†

John’s is the worst case of regression I’ve seen. He did a Kabul Express and we were blown away by that sexy, lethal human bomb hurtling straight into our hearts. What proved fatal was that terrible overdoseΒ of Garam Masala! Was he hoping to permanently silence scathing tongues like mine? πŸ˜›

Then he had a meaty role in New York followed by aΒ MEATy role of a ‘different’ kind πŸ˜‰ on the beaches of Miami! πŸ˜†

Just when he becomes a Force to reckon with, casting away doubts that he can do justice to a solo hero project, emerged Housefull 2, whose title was at best an antithesis! πŸ˜†

After producing top class SEMENa 😯 oops cinema πŸ˜€ by way of Vicky Donor, he throws something as IMMpotent as I,M&M in our faces. Jon shakes his bon bon, A LOT, given that he’s playing an A+ narcissist in the film. But even that novelty has worn off. No more is he the Greek God Adonis. Seems more like India’s official CHADD(I)ONIS! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Chitrangada, true to her name, is a certified ‘gadha’ πŸ˜† beating the excellent reputationΒ she’s built for herself with Bheem Ka Gada! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Prachi is like one of those preachy, disciplinarian types. Very wannabe-ish. I personally can’t tolerate her for more than 30 secs. So henceforth, I’ll make sure I see her only as Miss Sofy who has to take Flyte soon πŸ˜€

Post intermission, it waw just I, Me Aur Main in the theatre. That I chose this over Ramu Kaka’s Special Chhabis drove me to bang my head against the wall and rows and rows of empty chairs! I couldn’t evenΒ blame and curseΒ my favorite scapegoat, my hubby πŸ™„ Since it was just I, Me Aur Main left! 😦