Jiah Laage Naa Tum Bin Hamra

MAN!!! Apparently who’s no more is Jiah Khan!!!

Yes, the same girl who’d succeeded in making men and women alike ‘NISHABD’, way back in 2007. For entirely different reasons though! 😉

The very same girl who made us realize that the letter B resembles a ‘Bum’ and that’s what the Big B really is! 😛

Anyway, this is the girl who created a B-town record of sorts. Show me one girl who’s been lucky enough to star alongside THE BIGGEST names of Bollywood, back-to-back, in the first two projects of her career…

The third, and unfortunately, final movie on her resume- Housefull, was also quite a decent venture. I really enjoyed that scene of her warding off ‘Aakhiri Pasta’s’ lustful smooch in her reel life. 😆 But what’s not funny is her opting for the Aakhiri Raasta in real life. 😦

Suicide is something that always succeeds is making me ‘nishabd’. I wonder what possessed her into snuffing her precious life at such a tender age.

If it was professional failure that goaded her into taking such an extreme step, I wish she’d looked at her peers. She literally would have thanked her stars! Pun Intended!!! 😀 (For not committing the irreversible mistake that she just did!)

Whenever I see a piece on Uday Chopra in the papers, I inadvertently hold my breath. I always have thought him to be the most likely candidate for plunging to an untimely death. If in life, we’ve known him as Uday Chopra, in death, it’ll still be close enough. ‘Udi’ Chopra. 😆
To always walk in the shadow of your extremely successful sibling can be highly frustrating, but look at the lad! He cares a F@*# as to what people think of him and cares for a F@*#… Oops Fakhri!!! 😆 😆 😆

Then there’s Tusshaar. It’s doubly frustrating when there are two big success stories you need to eclipse. But the Hushaar boy has never drowned in his gham. Instead he has always wisely kept mum and excelled slowly but steadily at Dumb-Charades-Dumb. Now you know how he pulls off that ‘totla’ act with such aplomb! 😀

Matching up to three family members with talent and beauty worth a million dollars can make anyone get hot under the collar. But nothing can shake the indomitable AbhiSHAKE. And now that baby Aaradhya’s here, Aby’s Baby no longer feels that he’s the least best at things! 😛

Each of these gentlemen had a lot more credibility to lose and a lot more flak to gain each time they failed. But thankfully good sense prevailed.

If it was personal failure, Bipasha Basu should have been dead a long time ago! Instead, she still sheds copious amounts of Aasu publicly but is very much hale and hearty 😆

Thank goodness Kareena didn’t pull off a SHAHID Bhagat Singh stunt on herself after her relationship with Sasha went kaput 😀
Instead, she became more guarded, played ‘SAIF’ 😉 and finally made it large! Begum of Pataudi, no less!!!! 😆

RIP Jiah! You’re certainly not the first and you surely won’t be the last. You did what you had to do and there’s no turning back now…yet nothing, absolutely nothing in life warrants such a drastic measure cuz suicide can never ever give you true closure.

BELOW: Ethereal!

Jiaah

Jiah

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Dumb and Number!

Chhota B(heem) reportedly celebrated Diwali with added gusto this year. Bada bhoj jo chaati se utar gaya hai! Firstly, the world is finally convinced that Beti B is no clone of a certain Vivek Oberoi neither does she have ‘TIGER’ish features 😀

Secondly, joh hamesha Bol Bachchan kehlata tha with no substantial work to his repertoire, is suddenly in the news thanks to a crackling performance in, well, no prizes for guessing…BOL BACHCHAN!

So, our Gol Bachchan gifted a chhota Cooper to Beti B for Diwali! Not a tricycle, not a ride-on….directly a Mini Cooper!!! That’s the difference between us ordinary mortals and the Bachchans!

Anyway, a few Aryabhatts even noted that Miss Kaif’s black Audi and the newest baby in the Bachchan stable (not Aaradhya) share the same numbers on their license plates ….hence, they must be consulting the same astrologist.

2882….Innocent looking numbers, right? Then, the dormant Aryabhatt in me woke up, and guess what! 2882….does this sequence mean anything?

Think, Think…

Bolo Bolo…Tell Tell… 😉

I’m all ears ….

Awaiting patiently (stifling yawn)…

O, damn you! 😉

28th. September is the day a certain Mr. Kapoor was born in the year ‘82!!!

Ain’t KAT one shrewd cat after all! Certainly not as innocent as she looks when she bats those mascaraed lashes at us.

KAT ka motivation main samajh sakti hoon, still scratching my pretty head as to why Babyshek’s hankering after the same numerals….unless….
UNLESS….

Someone’s hoping for a Dostana 3 to happen with Ranbir playing one of the 3 happy and GAY stooges 😀

Below: The Cut-Copy-Paste- Numberplates

Ab Tak Hai Yawn!

I loooove freebies! Who doesn’t??!! Ek pe ek free…ho hum! Ek pe do free….hmmm I’m listening! Ek pe teen free…alright, bring it on!!! Ek pe chaar free…..ooooh, orgasmic! 😉

JTHJ gives you 5 for the price of 1! A mish mash of several SRK greats- DDLJ, Fauji, Dil Se, Chak De and a generous dollop of Ghajini! Plus a liplock from the otherwise “celibate main leads” thrown in for good measure!

Certainly the last SRK- Yash Chopra collaboration, I had high expectations from the undisputed Kings of Romance, positioned in front of the camera, and behind.  They were good, like in all their previous ventures. Just not brilliant!

JTHJ showed me everything I’ve seen before, albeit done with greater finesse.

Samar Anand was a more haggard version of the Raj’s and Rahul’s we’ve seen in the past. Understandably so. But when one does all that he did two decades ago, I would say ‘Dude, move on!’

Akira was akin to our desi Shakira :D, jiggling and wiggling her lithe body dangerously. And if you thought she was loud in BBB, just wait till you watch her put even those deafening bombs to shame in JTHJ! 😀

And then, moving on to the poor little rich girl, whom all us envious girls love to hate. A pretty dumb bimbo- you can add a comma to the sentence if you like, and it’d still read the same! 😀

It’s embarrassing to watch Kat in the same frame as seasoned pros like a SRK or an Amitabh or even an Aamir. And no, it ain’t because of her clothes! 😉

KATS look best with someone from their own family- the TIGER!!! Now we all know that animals can’t act. They can only entertain and there’s a separate genre of mindless cinema conceived with them in mind. Sorry, I’m not BEING HUMAN now! 😀

But you now know where I’m heading- take all the Dabanggs & Mere Brother Ki Dulhans. But leave the Barfis, Rajneetis, Kahaanis & Talaashs to the experts.

Speaking of seasoned and mature, they say the older the wine, the headier it is. YRF served me old wine in a new bottle for Diwali. The hangover never came, and the yawns just won’t go! Would this continue till Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan! Scary thought, that!

BELOW: The ‘impotent’ wine that did nothing for me!

What goes up must come down!

So, the entire nation was celebrating Big B’s 70th. Birthday in a BIGGGGG way. Chhota B(heem) 🙂 came on air and said something about being very humbled that 70 artists from all over the country joined hands to exhibit a painting each on his illustrious father and I remember thinking, ‘Poor you! You won’t be enjoying this privilege for sure!’ 🙂

I sometimes wonder whether the invincible Big B finds a lump forming in his throat because his son doesn’t receive the same amount of adulation as he still does. I mean, doesn’t every parent wish for bigger and better things to happen to their child?

My father caught me looking pensive and asked what was bothering me. When I told him that Baby’s success would probably be the biggest gift for AB, he said, “That’s life! It’s like a giantwheel. People who are at the top can’t stay put there forever. And those at the bottom can’t always remain there.

So true, na? There’s Jeetendra, a yesteryear superstar, who must be lamenting why Tusshar’s career hasn’t really taken off. This was the heir who was supposed to eclipse his success, wasn’t he? The progeny of Smita Patil and Raj Babbar turned out to be but a one-film wonder.

At the other end of the spectrum are Babita and Randhir. Absolute duds in their era but whose blue-eyed girls have achieved much more than perhaps any male scion of the Kapoor family has (barring Ranbir, of course!) 😉

Rakesh Roshan might have been a miserable failure at the BO, but life wasn’t so cruel! The Gods gifted him an Adonis lookalike, complete with a full head of gorgeous hair and all, unlike him! 😉 As if that wasn’t enough, his son could act, sing, dance, jump, fly and has been doing this for the last 12 years and counting!

Nothing needs to be said about Kajol whose mother didn’t taste half the success that she has! And then, there’s Kajol’s husband Ajay Devgn, who shines in every genre, unlike his father, who was forced to shed his ambition of becoming a hero and was restricted to being a mere stunt double.

If success truly skips a generation,  makes you wonder na what course would Aryan and Suhana’s lives chart? Would Vivek Oberoi’s kids be the next biggest thing to have happened to Bollywood twenty years hence?

Only time will tell!