Stupid Cupid- Part II

So, I’ve watched YJHD thrice upto now ๐Ÿ˜ฏ and if the film sashays into the coveted 200-crore club, you know whose hand is behind it! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I still maintain that the movie is a complete dud, what with its wishy-washy premise. But the kishy-cootchie happening between the main leads, endearing as it is, compels me to go endure that shitfest one more time.

Every scene in which Ranbirโ€™s eyes lock with Deepikaโ€™s melts my insides. How about those searing looks he gives her with those chocolatey-brown, gooey eyes of his in the Subah Ho Gayi scene and in the one where he walks past Dips before turning to look at her right before he breaks into Badtameez Dil. Also, towards the end, where he plants tender kissies on Dippyโ€™s lippies ๐Ÿ˜† is just so awwwwww…. It must have been really tough for Kapoor to break away from such warm passion when the director said CUT and return home to frigid KAT! ๐Ÿ˜†

Speaking of frigid, romancing two ice maidens, back-to-back, must have taken its toll and seriously convinced Sallu of the necessity of ‘Being Human’! ๐Ÿ˜†

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Both these dolls have been the reason for his downfall ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Ranbir, in a recent interview, likened his pairing with Dips to that of his grandfather’s with Nargis. Whoa! Huge stuff!!! It’s astonishing then that he’s settled for a woman who is the exact antithesis of Nargis in his personal life ๐Ÿ˜ฆ The lack of chemistry between them is indeed a source of mystery! ๐Ÿ˜€

Here’s an ode to the beauty with(out) brains:

B-townโ€™s official Barbie Doll
Possesses the IQ of a Troll
So leaden, without a soul
Perfect as the Khanโ€™s..oops..Donโ€™s Moll
๐Ÿ˜†

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Here’s some friendly advice to the cutie with(out) brains ๐Ÿ˜€

KIT(piti)KAT ๐Ÿ˜† ke saamne Dippy’s the sensuous, dusky Oscar
Usi ki doli le jaana tum baithke Horse Par
KAT ko tu seedha Toss Kar
Jaldi se phek de use Big Boss Par
๐Ÿ˜†

BELOW: This is ‘Happily Ever After’ for me! Cupid, you listening?

INDIA-ENTERTAINMENT-BOLLYWOOD

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aYAWN DUKHDARDji- Only a one-film wonder?

Itna gussa kyun aa raha hai
Tune scenes lift karke film mein milaya
Dugna gussa kyun chaa raha hai
Pehle se humne yeh sab kuch hai dekha

I shit you not! There’s so much Cut-Copy-Paste happening in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, it’s not even funny! ๐Ÿ˜€

Firstly, thereโ€™s the name โ€˜Nainaโ€™ lifted straight off from KHNH. As if gouging out the โ€˜nainasโ€™ wasn’t enough, Ayan had to go rob even her dark-rimmed spectacles!!! ๐Ÿ™„

Thereโ€™s also that classic DDLJ scene that had us all dying to kick Kajolโ€™s rotund butt :lol:, only to make her run faster and hop aboard that life-changing train to Zurich. Looking at Miss Padukoneโ€™s looooooong strides, my giggly gal pals wondered aloud if our desi train that was budging along grudgingly had to do the catching up! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

If Aashiqui 2 symbolized Good Friday to Aditya Roy Kapoorโ€™s fans, YJHD represents Easter! The beudah has risen back to life and how! Silly banter caused us to erupt into further noisy giggles. We agreed that heโ€™d signed on YJHD purely because his co-star is named RUM BEER!!!! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

As if to placate all the feathers he might have ruffled, Ayaan resorts to blatant plagiarism from his own accomplished directorial debut, Wake Up Sid! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ sAYAANa, thatโ€™s what the lad is! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I thought these lines from one of his songs fitting for the master plagiarist ๐Ÿ˜€

Aaj abhi maine tera boycott kar diya
Teri saari harqatein main toh note karu
Tujhe thaane mein le jaake main report karu
๐Ÿ˜†

He should have actually considered christening his second labour of love, โ€˜Wake Up Kids!โ€™ His 21-year old kids are surprisingly quite slow on the uptake. For example, Dips, an aspiring doctor, is prejudiced enough to believe that babies can be born to one only after marriage! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ There goes KJoโ€™s dream of fathering a biological child as a single parent!!! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

The scene expectedly elicited the wrath of a very liberal-minded friend, who was aghast at such regressive dialogues.โ€โ€˜Made for the Youth by the Youthโ€™ MY FOOT!โ€ she grumbled. โ€œMore like, โ€˜Made for the Youth by a Ch*#t!โ€™โ€ she thundered. ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Moving over to the performances. Boasting of a stellar star cast, YJHD cannot be faulted in this particular department.

I’ve already touched upon Aditya Roy Kapoor’s DAARU…Oooops…SAARU act! ๐Ÿ˜€
From alleged Daayan to purported Lesbian, Kalki can rock it all! ๐Ÿ˜›

That there can never be smoke without fire is amply proven by the smoldering chemistry between the leads. These two aren’t done with each other, professionally and personally! All I could think of whenever they came on screen was, ‘Dude, go get a room!’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here’s my proof ๐Ÿ˜‰

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But good acting + a mediocre story = a forgettable film. I was sorely disappointed that YJHD turned out to be nothing more than a glossy and glorified version of WUS! Only with a generous tadka of romance, bromance and dance! I expected so so so so so much more from Ayaan. Instead, all I could manage was A(big)YAWN! ๐Ÿ˜†

Here’s a link to the press conference. It’s so much more entertaining!

Goin’ Gaga O’er Go Goa Gone

Quite a mouthful that, ain’t it? ๐Ÿ˜›

So! GGG (not to be confused with the ludicrous 3G :roll:)is quite an enjoyable zom-com, one of the first desi produces of its kinds.

I suspect a great amount of thought went into christening the characters rather than fleshing out their roles. So we have two Monday-hating PLAYBOYS named Luv, Hardik ๐Ÿ˜ฏ while the third crony responds to BUNNY! Go figure that out!!! ๐Ÿ˜›

The first two suck at most things- their jobs, their wooing skills for potential blowjobs … ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Erm, got a little carried away there, didnโ€™t I? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, Bunny scores an all-expenses paid trip in the land of feni and our hedonists donโ€™t need to be asked twice.

Enter the desi Luna Lovegood- who does Luv real good!!! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

She invites the trio to a very exclusive beach rave on an island, off the Goan coast. Organized by the Russian Mafioso, our boys are feeling quite proud that they’ve finally made it large ๐Ÿ˜› and are on a high with all the free booze flowing. But the asli nasha doesnโ€™t really kick in! Whatโ€™s not free is that tiny red pill, one thatโ€™s revered as the baap of all stoning agents. Naturally, the kadkas canโ€™t afford it and get back to greedily laying their hands on the remaining sharaab, shabaabs and kabaabs! Laajawabs! ๐Ÿ˜€

In retrospect, that perhaps was the best thing to have happened cuz all the pillwales transformed overnight into CHILL-waales! Soulless cannibalistic corpses on the prowl, flipping o’er fresh maas after tripping on all the ghass ๐Ÿ˜†

Enter Boris ‘Bekaar’ ๐Ÿ˜€ A self-commissioned zombie-slayer who likes to keel dead peepul. The gun-toting Indo-Russian does a fine job of keeping the audience in splits and the zombies’ brains split (wide open). That the living dead limp more painfully than Tehmur himself and it doesnโ€™t take a Russianโ€™s expertise to annihilate them is a realization that makes the protagonists go from zeroes to heroes in the climax.

GGG is one of those few films that can boast of an above average rating in every department. The concept’s refreshingly unique in the Bollywood context, the acting’s top notch, the humor crackling, the make-up and styling sensational, the gore truly gruesome…there’s not much to hate!

If you’re dreading going to sweltering Goa at this time of the year, go catch the uber-cool Go Goa Gone instead!

BELOW: Biting Humour, that’s the genre! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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