David’s THE 1

My son has been chanting, “Can’t change the girl? CHANGE the girl!!!” 😯

I don’t know if this is a prelude of things to come 😮 Anyway, I went to watch Chashme Baddoor this afternoon hoping to see what he saw in the trailers that made him ROFL.

I loooove all the types of comedies there are. Sensible a la 3 Idiots, the downright insane viz. Golmaal (2006) and No Entry, the certified no-brainers like Coolie No. 1 and Apna Sapna Money Money 😆 and even the raunchy ones 😉 Kya Kool Hai Hum and Bose DK!!! 😛 )…Lolllllz 😆 CB being the latest entrant!

It’s a good thing the Baadshah of Comedy forewarned us by choosing to christen his take on the cult classic with an ‘A’ instead of ‘U’! 😉

He may or may not have succeeded in putting an end to speculations that he was recreating the magic of the 80s but the unintentional? slight has certainly doled out sufficient warning that Chashme Baddoor is gonna be full of double entendres, lame puns, dollops of slapstick humor, lewdness and sleaziness galore to whet the crass? appetite of the stallwallahs (me included) 😆

The premise might be the same as Sai Paranjpye’s labor of love but that’s where the similarity ends. If you’re expecting the new to up the ante or even to knock the (g)old off its pedestal, you’re gonna be sorely disappointed. IMHO, Chashme Baddoor could actually pass off as Golmaal’s poor cousin. Taking a cue from the inane rhymes peppering almost every frame, here’s the story of CB in a nutshell.

Teen lukkhe they Goa mein, completely kadka
Even dal they couldn’t afford with tadka 😀
Har koi karta hai unko tok
As they were completely broke.

Two of them horny,
The third a nerd and extremely corny.
Enter ladki aur ladke hote hain behaal
Pehle do rascals try to fasao her in their pyaar ka jaal

Ladki select karti hai bechaare ko
Uske kameene dost go “OH!!!!” 😯
Aeda banaake peda khaanewaale ki khabar lena hai,
Duniyabhar ki takleefein lovebirds ko dena hai.

Hum single, toh how dare he mingle!?!
Badalna hi padega ab Airtel ka jingle
😆

Coming over to the performances, Ali Zafar is really making us ZUFFER (Mallu ishtyle) 😆 with his repetitive/deadpan acting. He ain’t no Shahrukh…oops…Farooq!!! 😛

Siddharth, as the Bollywood aspirant, will make you reach out for your aspirin with his garish Chi Chi/ chee chee 😆 ensembles. His performance, as the roving eye and kameena spy, is equally loud albeit one that will make you Laugh Out Loud!!! 😀

Divyendu, the shaayar, might be a kaayar, a liar, even the proverbial extra third tire 😆 but as a performer he’s nothing less than a live-wire!!! 😀

Taapsee is as gritty as laapsi 😆 who should plan her Vaapsi back to the Southern industry! Nothing like the fine, demure Deepti Naval we’ve come to love 😦

Anupam Kher roars with a sher-like performance.

Titillate Boobi…oopsie daisy!!!…Lillette Dubey!!! 😆 😆 😆 knows how to cup Kapoor’s balls :lol:…. figuratively, of course!!! 😛 Their chemistry is sparkling…Chamko sach mein kaam karta hai!!! 😉 😉 😉

BELOW: Yanna Rascalas? You bet!!!

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Kaay Ho Chhe!

Here’s the weekly roundup of all things Bollywood forcing the couch-potato that I am to emerge from the depths of my cozy sofa and take serious notice. A few will receive bouquets, the rest bukkes 😆 Read on and enjoy maadi.

1] inspirASHAn: The Film Industry has completed a landmark 100 years and this amaaaaaaaaaazing woman has spent 70 of her 80 years being an integral part of it. I’m talking about the ‘evergreen woman’, Dev Anand’s female version if you like :lol:- the invincible Asha Bhosle!

A woman who adapts to the changing times, thus rendering herself relevant for close to a century, she’s who I call the ‘desi Madonna’ albeit the one who likes keeping her clothes on 😆 She’s a huuuuuge inspirASHAn for all those down in the dumps and who like wallowing in self-pity. By george, she’s jammed even with Boy George!!! 😆 And even though her husband was long dead, she bounced back from her sorrow with some help from Code Red! 😀

Lately, her daughter’s death was the reason for her grief but even the span of this period of mourning has been brief. Last heard, she sashayed down the ramp as showstopper for Manish Malhotra! 😯 Woohooooo! Way to go tai!

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2] I ❤ New York: Who doesn’t? But what I abhor seeing is this new dork! 😆 Sunny, you’re no Johnny to titillate us with your chaddis 😆 or anything like your namesake Sunny (Leone) 😛

You look ridiculous trying to play the part of a lovelorn puppy. Tussi puppy nahi, Paa(pa)ji ho 😆 and you don’t have to step back in circa 1999, doing all that you did in Sill(y)lagi…oops Dillagi 😆 Come to think of it, he looked like a cradle-snatcher twenty years ago too! 😀

Handpump tak toh theek tha, aur kuch mat ukhaadna! 😆 😆 😆 😛 😛 😛

Seems like Kangana RanOATH likes me muttering those distasteful oaths 😆 Psycho chick avatar was wayyyyy better, at least that I did not as much loathe! 😉

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3] ‘SIGH’ Paranjpye: I feel for the woman. I really do! I can’t help but SIGH! 😀 The woman’s hopping mad that a director of David Dhawan’s calibre (and this I don’t mean in a good way!) had the audacity and gumption to remake her classic. Known for inventing the highly infamous and extremely loud ‘Govinda color scheme’, make sure you carry your kaale CHASHME to the theatre 😆 and don’t forget to spout those BADDOO(aas) 😆

BELOW: Aise hi, audience ke liye dhoondthe reh jaaoge! We still prefer our ‘Chamko’! 😛

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