TRIPE OF INDIA

So, for those of you who are on Pluto and haven’t caught a whiff of the Deepika Padukone Vs ToI Tiff, here’s what transpired between the warring factions on Twitter Sunday last.

India’s leading house of journalism, having nothing more newsworthy to publish, decided to spice up their website with stock footage of Dips in a blouse with a dipping neckline. Creative huh? 🙄 And the headline they came up with simply is the proverbial cherry on the icing!‘OMG! Deepika Padukone’s Cleavage Show!!!’ WOW! SIMPLY WOW! (Saif Ali Style 😉 )

Miss Fanny, who I’ve always thought is diplomacy personified, has kicked ToI smack on its fanny and how!

dips 1

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To which the ToI came back with the mother of all retorts!

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😯 😯 😯

I’ve been following the ensuing brouhaha where the entire film fraternity and rival news publications are lauding Dips for taking on such an established and powerful news syndicate by its horns. And then there are some, like the ditzy Pooja Bedi, who are milking this issue dry with the hopes of receiving a fat raise. Such loyalty towards the employer I tell you! Padhke aankh mein aasu aa gaye! 😉

Personally, I fully understand why the TOI has to resort to such drastic measures to ensure they stay visible. Even though they source the most premium quality of paper to print their “news” on, the final product is still way inferior to the tissue roll hanging in my toilet! 😀 😆 Didn’t Ranbir Kapoor say something to the same effect once? Atta Boy! 😛

I never thought that day would arrive but it has. Today’s Bombay Times is noticeably voluminous than the main newspaper (Considering the trashy Mirror as an appendage) There are sexperts like Mahinder Watsa, who in my opinion, is the greatest Indian inventor (of sexual fiction) of all time! 😆 😆 😆 This detailed and rather disgusting query had me ditching my mornin’ cuppa for good. Read it at your own risk! 😉

Mahinder Watsa

Years ago, the collegian in me witnessed Mid Day to be a best seller in the Gents’ Compartment. No, no, I wasn’t the fly on the wall there! 😉 😀 It’s just that the vendor would enter with an armload of Mid-Days that would sell like hotcakes and then enter the ladies’ compartment with the insipid Afternoon D&C, whose crosswords reaffirmed ‘Haan main paanchvi paas se bahut zyaada tez hoon!’ 😆 If Mid-Day symbolized the raunchy mate, from now on, ToI will be synonymous with voyeuristic porn.

Oops pics might titillate and be enjoyed by a few but for the larger majority, they are a major put-off. If you own such a large database of pictures that debase, by all means come out with a PlayTOI for the horny few. 😉 😀 😆 But then you shouldn’t portray yourself to be a crusader of women’s rights. What’s the grand idea in talking about mahila shakti on Pages 1 and 2 and then giving us a glimpse of Alia’s chaddi, when her skirt accidentally rode up during a promotional event, on Page 3. That makes you the worst kind of hypocrite there ever is! 🙄

When you take a stand, I think it is representative of your entire conglomerate. So was Arnab’s condemning and crucifying Nirbhaya’s heinous rapists just a farce? Or was she spared from such humiliating objectification just because she didn’t have a wow cleavage a la Miss Padukone?

Getting back to dips,The ToI might have showed us her cleavage but the girl showed us she’s got balls! As Alia puts it so succinctly,

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I’m euphoric you’ve finally got what was coming to you, you Tribe of Idiots (ToI)! 😆 And here’s a little treat from the far-superior Hindu to buoy that euphoria a little more. Enjoy!