Khisak!!!

Okay, so check it out! Verona’s transformed into Varana-si :lol:, the Montagues have metamorphosed into the Mishras πŸ˜† and the Capulets into Kashyaps! πŸ˜† Same same akshar, same same swar! What an ‘original’ idea, Tiwary Sir (ji)!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

If the man was hoping for success, he’s in luck! Issaq SUCKS (with a capital) S!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Not much has changed since his first outing at the movies with Dil Dosti Etc. Issaq too should have come with the suffix. That’d be warning enough! There’s so much happening besides the love story, sub-plots as plentiful and convoluted as the strands of hair on the eccentric Makarand KESHpandey’s head! :lol::lol: πŸ˜†

Maverick Makarand, a sadhu on the Banarasi ghats, is shown to be happily doing ganja. For once I wished he was Ganja! Perhaps then Issaq’s story would be a little more coherent. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Okay, so there’s Rahul…erm..the desi Romeo, whose name coincidentally starts with an ‘R’ πŸ™„ He ain’t any different from all the Rahuls we’ve seen so far. A quintessential playboy, he’s seen lusting after the saucy EVILyn Sharma πŸ˜› Wait a minute! Wasn’t there a cute Bawi in this movie???

Just as I’m trying to figure this one out, there’s a vampish Paro thrown in my face who appears to have all the carnal desires that Chandramukhi possessed πŸ˜† Had this Paro starred in Devdas, Khan would never have have taken his Jaan! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Anyway, this very-much-married woman has the hots for the devilish Ravi KISSen 😯

No sooner did they unveil the Bhojpuri-spouting rascal, my mind was forced to come to terms with a Naxal! A Mallu Naxalite at that!!! And the more hilarious part is yet to come! He’s called ‘Madrasi’!!!!!! More like ‘MURDERASI’!!!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

The Mishras and the Kashyaps are fighting for supremacy over the sand mines, the blood-thirsty Naxal is a bloody swine, Prateik appears to like to two-time, EVILyn has a brain the size of a dime, Paro doesn’t think sleeping with her husband’s relative is a crime, Bachchi looks rather kachchi though she’s doing her level best to shine and the whole damn movie seemed to be such a colossal waste of time! πŸ˜†

A bit about the acting. The tubelight in my living room has been winking at the ceiling fan for the past two days and the latter seems to be spinning more happily than ever before! πŸ˜€ It wouldn’t be wrong to say their chemistry is far more crackling than what the leads in Issaq share! πŸ˜›

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, but Prateik undoubtedly is the biggest prateek of bad acting! πŸ˜† Judging by the calibre of performances extracted, I wonder if Manish Tiwary paid him just Rs. 12? πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Amyra is a Garib performer πŸ˜† She pronounced special as ‘Suppesial’ just the way the Northies do. But the Banarasi suddenly did a volte face and turned into the-perfect-English-speaking Parsi! She declares ‘Main Virgin Hoon’ as impeccably as Richard Branson would pronounce the V-word!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

At intermission, my friend literally fell to my feet begging ‘Chal let’s khisak!” I happily obliged. I didn’t really care whether Paro would succeed in pulling off a fantastic orgy in the climax πŸ˜› or the desi Romeo and Juliet would defy all odds and live happily ever after. As far as I was concerned, they’d murdered the original star-crossed lovers yet again with their pathetic tribute.

Prateik, Daddy ko zara poochna ki baarah rupaiye mein chudiyaan milti hain ke nahin? :P

Prateik, Daddy ko zara poochna ki baarah rupaiye mein chudiyaan milti hain ke nahin? πŸ˜›

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aYAWN DUKHDARDji- Only a one-film wonder?

Itna gussa kyun aa raha hai
Tune scenes lift karke film mein milaya
Dugna gussa kyun chaa raha hai
Pehle se humne yeh sab kuch hai dekha

I shit you not! There’s so much Cut-Copy-Paste happening in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, it’s not even funny! πŸ˜€

Firstly, there’s the name β€˜Naina’ lifted straight off from KHNH. As if gouging out the β€˜nainas’ wasn’t enough, Ayan had to go rob even her dark-rimmed spectacles!!! πŸ™„

There’s also that classic DDLJ scene that had us all dying to kick Kajol’s rotund butt :lol:, only to make her run faster and hop aboard that life-changing train to Zurich. Looking at Miss Padukone’s looooooong strides, my giggly gal pals wondered aloud if our desi train that was budging along grudgingly had to do the catching up! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

If Aashiqui 2 symbolized Good Friday to Aditya Roy Kapoor’s fans, YJHD represents Easter! The beudah has risen back to life and how! Silly banter caused us to erupt into further noisy giggles. We agreed that he’d signed on YJHD purely because his co-star is named RUM BEER!!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

As if to placate all the feathers he might have ruffled, Ayaan resorts to blatant plagiarism from his own accomplished directorial debut, Wake Up Sid! 😯 sAYAANa, that’s what the lad is! πŸ˜‰

I thought these lines from one of his songs fitting for the master plagiarist πŸ˜€

Aaj abhi maine tera boycott kar diya
Teri saari harqatein main toh note karu
Tujhe thaane mein le jaake main report karu
πŸ˜†

He should have actually considered christening his second labour of love, β€˜Wake Up Kids!’ His 21-year old kids are surprisingly quite slow on the uptake. For example, Dips, an aspiring doctor, is prejudiced enough to believe that babies can be born to one only after marriage! 😯 There goes KJo’s dream of fathering a biological child as a single parent!!! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

The scene expectedly elicited the wrath of a very liberal-minded friend, who was aghast at such regressive dialogues.β€β€˜Made for the Youth by the Youth’ MY FOOT!” she grumbled. β€œMore like, β€˜Made for the Youth by a Ch*#t!’” she thundered. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Moving over to the performances. Boasting of a stellar star cast, YJHD cannot be faulted in this particular department.

I’ve already touched upon Aditya Roy Kapoor’s DAARU…Oooops…SAARU act! πŸ˜€
From alleged Daayan to purported Lesbian, Kalki can rock it all! πŸ˜›

That there can never be smoke without fire is amply proven by the smoldering chemistry between the leads. These two aren’t done with each other, professionally and personally! All I could think of whenever they came on screen was, ‘Dude, go get a room!’ πŸ˜‰

Here’s my proof πŸ˜‰

deepika-padukone-ranbir-kapoor-keen-to-work-together-c976aa6e

But good acting + a mediocre story = a forgettable film. I was sorely disappointed that YJHD turned out to be nothing more than a glossy and glorified version of WUS! Only with a generous tadka of romance, bromance and dance! I expected so so so so so much more from Ayaan. Instead, all I could manage was A(big)YAWN! πŸ˜†

Here’s a link to the press conference. It’s so much more entertaining!