The Flying Sheekh!

Isn’t it ironic that my review on a film dealing with speed should come crawling almost a week after its release? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ
The weekend saw me holed up at home for fear of getting bombed up, what with it marking the anniversary of one of many terror attacks that have rocked Mumbai in the recent past. Little did I know that catching Bhaag Milkha Bhaag would accomplish the same result. That film just blew my mind!

‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’ is an exhortation to our protagonist at crucial, defining moments in his life. It assumes the form of a guttural cry from a dying father to escape from the clutches of murderous zealots active at work during India’s Partition. The same sentence later transforms into a fervent prayer slipping past the lips of his coach at the Olympics Finals held in Rome. So quite a symbolic title that!

Anyway, the film opens with the said race. Everyone’s heard of the adage ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do.’ I’m sure Milkha Singh must have too. Being a distant relative of Santa Banta, he must have presumed that all they do is roam! ๐Ÿ˜† SPOILERS AHEAD.

So roam he did! Instead of scrambling to achieve glory, our man began ambling away to glory! ๐Ÿ˜† He bagged fourth place. To him it was life’s biggest disgrace.

The root cause of his dismal performance can be traced to the 1956 Olympics held in Melbourne. The voluptuous granddaughter of the Aussie coach must have hollered “Howdy mate?” and Milkha Singh must have interpreted the friendly greeting as “Let’s go mate!” ๐Ÿ˜† It was evident we’d lost Milkha Singh cuz all I could see was MilKissing! ๐Ÿ˜† Needless to say, India went Down Under in the races! ๐Ÿ˜†

I honestly don’t know how much of this biopic is fact and how much fiction. It seems rather incredible that the real Milkha Singh would have boasted so blatantly about his international conquests (albeit of a different kind!) ๐Ÿ˜›

The film ends with Milkha learning to slow down, to wrestle the demons that have been chasing him all his life and ending on a high- with a glorious nickname coined by a Pakistani at that!

With a run time of 3 hours and 10 minutes, the film is anything but racy! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I shudder to think how much longer it’d be if the word ‘Bhaag’ wasn’t a significant part of its title! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Watch this movie only for Farhan Akhtar. He’s as luscious as that juicy piece of sheekh! ๐Ÿ˜› F&@#ing Hot with a capital F!

The performance he pitches in is the performance of a lifetime! He’s gotten so into the skin of his character, I’m sure he must be having trouble reverting to the Totla Akhtar he used to be! ๐Ÿ˜€

Sonam seems to be the new Sonakshi. A lucky mascot to propel a movie into the coveted 100-crore club. Anybody, absolutely anybody could have essayed her Biro. Even someone like Poonam (Pandey) who has a penchant for virile sportsmen. ๐Ÿ˜› Come to think of it, maybe if she was around during the landmark finals and had promised to strip if he won, I bet my bottom dollar Milkha would not trip! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Uff, the confidence! I'm lovin' it!!! ;-)

Uff, the confidence! I’m lovin’ it!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Thook Re!

Although Iโ€™m all for bromances on the big screen, I really think filmmakers should now give this premise a rest. Iโ€™m terribly bored of tasting the same old wine packed in a new bottle for the last 12 years and counting! Wine gets better with age, they say. That doesnโ€™t hold true here though. My whines seem to be getting better with age! ๐Ÿ˜†

So, Fukrey is not about F*#@ing as misinterpreted by the very disappointed youth filing out of the theatre way before the interval ๐Ÿ˜› Itโ€™s about being cheap, thinking cheap and doing cheap. The four protagonists are a bunch of aimless adolescent Dilliwala-velas whose khwaabs ironically reflect expensive tastes- kabaabs, sharaabs and shabaabs. Grand dreams of living the good life whiz about in their heads like rockets when there is not a phooti kaudi in their pockets ๐Ÿ˜€

Perpetually in wonderland, they remind me of Alice (not referring to the Who the F*#@ one :razz:, though it might seem apt here :wink:) spiralling downwards into the gaping black Kuaa of Juaa, Dhuaan, Marijuaana et al. Three of the smart-asses strike gold each time they act out on the hunch of the fourth. Truly a Mad Three Party this! ๐Ÿ˜†

Alas, on one occasion the hunch fails! The dreamersโ€™ DONna, (the Punjaban financier who stands to gain the most by pimping :shock:… oops…. pumping in money ๐Ÿ˜€ at the behest of the lazy lads) Richa Chaddha, sees red and chases the foursome, ready to tear off their chaddis ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜†

The movie has to end and so blasting the fukreys’ fucked-up brains like a foghorn is the profound realization that there can never be a shortcut to success ๐Ÿ™„ Yehi samjhaane ke liye Farhan Akhtar ne do ghante ka yeh ghanta film banaaya?!? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ Isse toh achcha I could have read an Aesopโ€™s fable lasting all of five minutes…it would have been considerably lighter on my pocket too! After all, GOING CHEAP is the way to go! ๐Ÿ˜‰

BELOW: Thailand mein jo Tuk Tuk kehlaya jaata hai, India mein ‘Fuk Fuk’ ban gaya! ๐Ÿ˜†

fukrey-movie-poster-2

Yo! Bhaag Milkha Bhaag..Aur Tezz Bhaag!!!

So, there was this intriguing full page ad of the Flying Sikh in today’s BT. A barely recognizable Farhan Akhtar looks pretty impressive in his get-up as India’s sprinting legend in Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s next.

When you have a title like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, it follows that speed and time are of the essence. But when you have a release date set as…I kid you not!…July 12, 2013!!!ย  It’s like the mother of all ironies!!! ๐Ÿ˜†

July 2012 seems like a gazillion years away! Public memory being short, I doubt anybody would remember today’s poster 7 months hence (assuming there’s no further money pumped into periodic publicity). Such wasteful spending!

It’s a long wait…I just wish our ‘filmy’ Milkha would run faster into the theaters! ๐Ÿ˜€

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From Talaash to Goulash

They first attributed the delay in release owing to similarities with Sujoy Ghosh’s masterpiece, Kahaani. Then they insinuated that its plot borrows heavily from ‘Anniyan’, a 2005 Tamil blockbuster and from the grim 2010 Di Caprio starrer ‘Shutter Island’.
And all this while Aamir and his team kept mum. After all, any publicity is good publicity, right?

I can safely certify that Talaash is nothing like any of the flicks cited above. If anything, it’s far more superlative in terms of performances.

Aamir gets into the skin of his character- a tormented soul trying to exorcise his demons by diving headlong into his work. Another stellar job, yet another feather in his cap.

Rani is a breath of clean, fresh air- a clean look, and a clean act, consolidating her position as the Queen of Bollywood.

Kareena is lethal- right from the provocative swaying of her hips to her killer histrionics.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui, the brash, unapologetic special agent in Kahaani does a complete U-Turn as a shady, limping pimp. And if the jury left it to me, he’d be the one getting all the accolades from amongst this bunch of supremely talented actors.

But alas! An actor is only as good as the script and while Talaash is majorly a slow-paced, brilliantly constructed film, its climax was an unappetizing goulash (mish-mash) of sorts.

Without giving the suspense away, I thought it was the desi version of an acclaimed Hollywood psychological thriller that gave us all goosebumps in the last millennium. And another supernatural/horror flick that the Bhatt camp has been milking dry for the last decade or so.

I was reminded of the great fear that consumed me prior to entering the Haunted House at Essel World…the cold sweat trickling down my back…the sudden rush of adrenaline…and I don’t even want to elaborate on how I felt when I was back out in the sunlight!

Talaash’s twist is that nonsensical, that infuriating and THAT big a letdown! It might have been better to share Kahaani’s climax and end on a sensible note than reshoot it in a panic on a half-baked idea!

And here’s what stumps me. A man with as strong a business acumen as AK would want to co-produce a flaccid Talaash!? Not 3 Idiots, not even Ghajini, but this!?

There’s a method to his madness, everyone close to him insists. Still on the talaash for that!!! ๐Ÿ˜†

BELOW: Nothing can describe angst and the general tone of the movie better than this still.

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In Search of Talaash


It’s amazing how many flicks B-Town churns out each year and how many of them are actually watch-worthy. 2012 started on aย  good note with Kahaani, then there was another sweet kahaani of Barfi and now, finally, the mother of all kahaanis, Talaash, is set for a grand holiday release.

Aamir Khan has NEVER EVER disappointed. Though I’ve followed his career only post Fanaa, he’s what they call the man with the Midas touch. I loooooooved Taare Zameen Par and I think his histrionics in it are second to none. 3 Idiots made me desperately want to join their clique as the 4th. Idiot!ย  ๐Ÿ˜€ And now, my search for a bloody good Bollywood flick ends with Talaash.

The trailers have an air of mystery to them.ย  I have a feeling that Rani and Aamir are married and that something bad, really bad,ย  has happened to their adorable boy. How the mustachioed Aamir avenges his son’s death is whatย  forms the crux of Talaash.

But it may not be all that straightforward, a la Ghajini. For starters, Aamir wouldn’t pick a similar role twice in his career. Secondly, this is an Excel Entertainment release- one that has doled outย  Karthik calling Karthik where, well, the title was all too telling! Rumor has it that Talaash: The Answer Lies Within shares a lot in common with Kahaani, hence the delays in release. If so, I wouldn’t be surprised if Inspector Shekhawat has something brewing in his head and all the answers lie within that internal universe of his, as the tagline of the movie goes!

Jee Le Zara, with Vishal’s grainy voice, is my favorite …..such a haunting track and Rani’s expressions in it are to die for! Her true-to-life portrayal of a middle-class housewife who’s lost every reason to live with the loss of her son is simply A+++++++++.ย Her raccoon eyes that see everything, yet register nothing, the torment engulfing her soul, the painful gulping of emotions threatening to choke her…WOW!

The awkward silence between Aamir and her seems to be accusing them both for the tragedy they’re forced to come to terms with.ย  Only and only Rani could slip under the skin of Mrs. Shekhawat with such effortlessness! I wouldn’t be surprised if her restrained performance eclipses those of Aamir’s and Kareena’s.

My talaash for exciting cinema ends on Nov. 30th. Does yours?

Image Courtesy: www.cinebasti.comImage Courtesy: www.cinebasti.com