DON’t!

15 August 2013 will indeed go down in the annals of history as the real D-Day! Pun-Intended! Kyunki us din Duniya mein jitne saare Don the, woh sab Once Upon Ay Time in Mumbaai Dobaara dekhke shahid ho gaye! 😆

Kutria …whoops…Luthria 😆 😆 😆 has terribly caricaturized and diluted the essence of a true bhai. Watching his latest is sure to make Dawood cry!

Akki, the most impotent bhai in town :lol:, engages more in Linegiri than Bhaigiri 😆

Lines that are absurd to the point of seeming that they were lifted straight off the back of an autorickshaw plying in Bhendi Bazaar :lol:, here’s a sneak peek into the inanity that is OUATIMD:

(airing his views on love): “Pyaar aaj kal naukrani jaise ban gaya hai. Aata hai, bell bajata hai, kaam karke chala jaata hai.” 😆 😆 😆

(on the changing face of Bombay): This one’s a killer! “Yeh Bumbai, Kumkum se Kimi Katkar ki tarah lag rahi hai!” 😆 Manda(bi)kini ki tarah kyun nahi, Shoaib ji? 😛

Anyway, Bhai recruits his protege, Aslam, from A SLUM (get the connection?) 😆 in DONgri, the breeding ground of future DONS! 😆 The same place DONny Boyle scoured and became a millionaire! 😆

Anyway, our desi ASLAMdog also turns millionaire jab SONAkshi uske haath lagti hain! 😆 Her Jasmine should have been named ASPIRIN! That insufferable an actress! 😆

The don starts fighting tooth and nail for her to be his moll while the woman reminded me so much of Harry Potter movies ka troll! 😆 😆 😆 Dekha nateeja pura din kaala chashma pehnne ka? 😉

In one scene, a train whizzes past Imran’s and Sona’s heads and a SRK loyalist in the audience screamed, “Woh dekh! Chennai Express unko gaad rahi hai!” 😆 😆 😆 Amen to that!

BELOW: DONkey…nahi :razz:…DON ki toh baja di isne! 😆 😆 😆

Akshay-Kumar-in-a-still-from-the-film-Once-Upon-A-Time-In-Mumbaai-Dobara- (1)

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GENRE-ally Speaking…

There’s a reason why directors should stick to their genres. Ashutosh Gowariker should continue making period dramas, KJo family and teensy-boppy sagas, David Dhawan “senseless comedies” and Raju Hirani “sensible, thought provoking and soul-stirring cinema”. It’s when they stray out of their comfort zone that all hell breaks loose. Like an insufferable music director, who recently went on to direct, act, co-produce and bray in the biggest disaster of 2012! 😮

There’s another Jack-of-all-trades who wasn’t so bad at everything that he set out to do. Till lately, I had great respect for Mr. Bhardwaj. After all, he was the man who simplified some “heavy duty” Shakespearean bouncers for no-brainers like me! 😉

But, now, with MKBKM, the man has undone it all! Many I know came out of the theatre liking the rustic ‘political?’ satire. IMHO, Matru’s biggest Shatru was his highly polished’ Bombay Scottish’ zubaan that blew all earnest attempts at delivering an authentic Haryaanvi accent to smithereens.

Bijlee ( a reincarnation of Bulbul/ Shruti/ Ishika/Akira) struck me as highly unambitious. Always the one to fiercely cling to her comfort zone- a perpetual loudmouth spewing smart-ass comments, overtly (and shamelessly) sexual to the point of being a major tease, blatant dad(i)giri….this reads like an excerpt from Anushka Sharma’s resume! 😆

Kaise dekhe tujhe pyaar se baar baar usi same si boring avatar mein? Ab Tak Hai YAWN! 😆

MANDOLE Mera Tan dole – Harry Mandola’s intoxicating performance seriously has that effect on you! :mrgreen: I’m convinced now that he truly is Shahid Kapur’s dad- both supremely talented yet both f*@&ed by the fickle finger of fate, with success always at an arm’s length!

I don’t know what it is with stringing a bunch of names together to christen your film. But since VB resorted to this inane antic, adding one more name to an already loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong title wouldn’t have hurt. This is where I have a bone to pick with Sir Bhardwaj. For me, the true star in the film was undoubtedly Gulabi! I was tickled pink every time the bhains made an appearance, grinning oh-so-cutely! 😀

Gulabi muskaan jo teri dekhi, deewana yeh dil ho gaya! 😛

MATRU KI BIJLEE KA MANDOLA KI GULABI

Oh wait! It’s still a load of gibberish 🙄