DON’t!

15 August 2013 will indeed go down in the annals of history as the real D-Day! Pun-Intended! Kyunki us din Duniya mein jitne saare Don the, woh sab Once Upon Ay Time in Mumbaai Dobaara dekhke shahid ho gaye! ๐Ÿ˜†

Kutria …whoops…Luthria ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† has terribly caricaturized and diluted the essence of a true bhai. Watching his latest is sure to make Dawood cry!

Akki, the most impotent bhai in town :lol:, engages more in Linegiri than Bhaigiri ๐Ÿ˜†

Lines that are absurd to the point of seeming that they were lifted straight off the back of an autorickshaw plying in Bhendi Bazaar :lol:, here’s a sneak peek into the inanity that is OUATIMD:

(airing his views on love): “Pyaar aaj kal naukrani jaise ban gaya hai. Aata hai, bell bajata hai, kaam karke chala jaata hai.” ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

(on the changing face of Bombay): This one’s a killer! “Yeh Bumbai, Kumkum se Kimi Katkar ki tarah lag rahi hai!โ€ ๐Ÿ˜† Manda(bi)kini ki tarah kyun nahi, Shoaib ji? ๐Ÿ˜›

Anyway, Bhai recruits his protege, Aslam, from A SLUM (get the connection?) ๐Ÿ˜† in DONgri, the breeding ground of future DONS! ๐Ÿ˜† The same place DONny Boyle scoured and became a millionaire! ๐Ÿ˜†

Anyway, our desi ASLAMdog also turns millionaire jab SONAkshi uske haath lagti hain! ๐Ÿ˜† Her Jasmine should have been named ASPIRIN! That insufferable an actress! ๐Ÿ˜†

The don starts fighting tooth and nail for her to be his moll while the woman reminded me so much of Harry Potter movies ka troll! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† Dekha nateeja pura din kaala chashma pehnne ka? ๐Ÿ˜‰

In one scene, a train whizzes past Imran’s and Sona’s heads and a SRK loyalist in the audience screamed, “Woh dekh! Chennai Express unko gaad rahi hai!” ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† Amen to that!

BELOW: DONkey…nahi :razz:…DON ki toh baja di isne! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Akshay-Kumar-in-a-still-from-the-film-Once-Upon-A-Time-In-Mumbaai-Dobara- (1)

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GENRE-ally Speaking…

Thereโ€™s a reason why directors should stick to their genres. Ashutosh Gowariker should continue making period dramas, KJo family and teensy-boppy sagas, David Dhawan โ€œsenseless comediesโ€ and Raju Hirani โ€œsensible, thought provoking and soul-stirring cinemaโ€. Itโ€™s when they stray out of their comfort zone that all hell breaks loose. Like an insufferable music director, who recently went on to direct, act, co-produce and bray in the biggest disaster of 2012! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Thereโ€™s another Jack-of-all-trades who wasnโ€™t so bad at everything that he set out to do. Till lately, I had great respect for Mr. Bhardwaj. After all, he was the man who simplified some โ€œheavy dutyโ€ Shakespearean bouncers for no-brainers like me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

But, now, with MKBKM, the man has undone it all! Many I know came out of the theatre liking the rustic โ€˜political?โ€™ satire. IMHO, Matruโ€™s biggest Shatru was his highly polishedโ€™ Bombay Scottishโ€™ zubaan that blew all earnest attempts at delivering an authentic Haryaanvi accent to smithereens.

Bijlee ( a reincarnation of Bulbul/ Shruti/ Ishika/Akira) struck me as highly unambitious. Always the one to fiercely cling to her comfort zone- a perpetual loudmouth spewing smart-ass comments, overtly (and shamelessly) sexual to the point of being a major tease, blatant dad(i)giri….this reads like an excerpt from Anushka Sharmaโ€™s resume! ๐Ÿ˜†

Kaise dekhe tujhe pyaar se baar baar usi same si boring avatar mein? Ab Tak Hai YAWN! ๐Ÿ˜†

MANDOLE Mera Tan dole โ€“ Harry Mandolaโ€™s intoxicating performance seriously has that effect on you! :mrgreen: Iโ€™m convinced now that he truly is Shahid Kapurโ€™s dad- both supremely talented yet both f*@&ed by the fickle finger of fate, with success always at an armโ€™s length!

I donโ€™t know what it is with stringing a bunch of names together to christen your film. But since VB resorted to this inane antic, adding one more name to an already loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong title wouldnโ€™t have hurt. This is where I have a bone to pick with Sir Bhardwaj. For me, the true star in the film was undoubtedly Gulabi! I was tickled pink every time the bhains made an appearance, grinning oh-so-cutely! ๐Ÿ˜€

Gulabi muskaan jo teri dekhi, deewana yeh dil ho gaya! ๐Ÿ˜›

MATRU KI BIJLEE KA MANDOLA KI GULABI

Oh wait! Itโ€™s still a load of gibberish ๐Ÿ™„