aYAWN DUKHDARDji- Only a one-film wonder?

Itna gussa kyun aa raha hai
Tune scenes lift karke film mein milaya
Dugna gussa kyun chaa raha hai
Pehle se humne yeh sab kuch hai dekha

I shit you not! There’s so much Cut-Copy-Paste happening in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, it’s not even funny! ๐Ÿ˜€

Firstly, thereโ€™s the name โ€˜Nainaโ€™ lifted straight off from KHNH. As if gouging out the โ€˜nainasโ€™ wasn’t enough, Ayan had to go rob even her dark-rimmed spectacles!!! ๐Ÿ™„

Thereโ€™s also that classic DDLJ scene that had us all dying to kick Kajolโ€™s rotund butt :lol:, only to make her run faster and hop aboard that life-changing train to Zurich. Looking at Miss Padukoneโ€™s looooooong strides, my giggly gal pals wondered aloud if our desi train that was budging along grudgingly had to do the catching up! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

If Aashiqui 2 symbolized Good Friday to Aditya Roy Kapoorโ€™s fans, YJHD represents Easter! The beudah has risen back to life and how! Silly banter caused us to erupt into further noisy giggles. We agreed that heโ€™d signed on YJHD purely because his co-star is named RUM BEER!!!! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

As if to placate all the feathers he might have ruffled, Ayaan resorts to blatant plagiarism from his own accomplished directorial debut, Wake Up Sid! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ sAYAANa, thatโ€™s what the lad is! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I thought these lines from one of his songs fitting for the master plagiarist ๐Ÿ˜€

Aaj abhi maine tera boycott kar diya
Teri saari harqatein main toh note karu
Tujhe thaane mein le jaake main report karu
๐Ÿ˜†

He should have actually considered christening his second labour of love, โ€˜Wake Up Kids!โ€™ His 21-year old kids are surprisingly quite slow on the uptake. For example, Dips, an aspiring doctor, is prejudiced enough to believe that babies can be born to one only after marriage! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ There goes KJoโ€™s dream of fathering a biological child as a single parent!!! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

The scene expectedly elicited the wrath of a very liberal-minded friend, who was aghast at such regressive dialogues.โ€โ€˜Made for the Youth by the Youthโ€™ MY FOOT!โ€ she grumbled. โ€œMore like, โ€˜Made for the Youth by a Ch*#t!โ€™โ€ she thundered. ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

Moving over to the performances. Boasting of a stellar star cast, YJHD cannot be faulted in this particular department.

I’ve already touched upon Aditya Roy Kapoor’s DAARU…Oooops…SAARU act! ๐Ÿ˜€
From alleged Daayan to purported Lesbian, Kalki can rock it all! ๐Ÿ˜›

That there can never be smoke without fire is amply proven by the smoldering chemistry between the leads. These two aren’t done with each other, professionally and personally! All I could think of whenever they came on screen was, ‘Dude, go get a room!’ ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here’s my proof ๐Ÿ˜‰

deepika-padukone-ranbir-kapoor-keen-to-work-together-c976aa6e

But good acting + a mediocre story = a forgettable film. I was sorely disappointed that YJHD turned out to be nothing more than a glossy and glorified version of WUS! Only with a generous tadka of romance, bromance and dance! I expected so so so so so much more from Ayaan. Instead, all I could manage was A(big)YAWN! ๐Ÿ˜†

Here’s a link to the press conference. It’s so much more entertaining!

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Shear DAAYAN-amite!

As I sat watching Ek Thi Daayan, I couldn’t help wondering what her journey from DOYEN to DAAYAN would be like. Transitioning from the measly 21cm to the massive 70mm, Ektaโ€™s would have been the most convincing of debuts in the history of B-Town. She does look like a witch and acts like a complete bitch, after all! ๐Ÿ˜›

See, I told ya! ๐Ÿ˜†

ekta

Anyway, getting back to the movie.

Who names their kid Bobo? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ
That name was a BAFFLER alright! ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†

So baby Bobo from SoBo ๐Ÿ™„ is like the biggest dodo Iโ€™ve seen ๐Ÿ˜† His fears include:

โ€ข JAAL (the claustrophobic elevator that he believes descends beyond the ground floor into hell) ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

โ€ข BAAL (the Garnier long and strong choti of his wicked stepmom ๐Ÿ˜† For the benefit of us dim-witted audience, she has also conveniently been named DAAYAN-AA/ Diana) ๐Ÿ™„

โ€ข And PAAL (the slimy gecko this psycho thinks she metamorphoses into) ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

The fixation with the AALs continues into adulthood. Big Babol…oops…Bobo ๐Ÿ˜† fasaaos a MAAL in his pyaar ka JAAL ๐Ÿ˜‰ and the frisky couple also decide to cement their relationship by adopting a BAAL..this time it’s not the hair… :lol:….it’s a cutesy little baby bear!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Enter the tongue twister Kalki Koechlin ๐Ÿ˜† and all hell breaks loose. AAL izzzzz clearly not well! As sudden as lightning came the hallucinations, that made me go Hallelujah!!! The baffler had me so baffled by his weirdness that I had to tuck my lustrous long ponytail into my T-shirt for fear of having it chopped off! I mean, Mr. Amaron Kissme literally transformed into the Amaron Bunny, ๐Ÿ˜† chasing every woman he saw with a long choti with an even longer pair of kainchis ๐Ÿ˜† Tel endorsement deals gaye tel lene! ๐Ÿ˜€

The climax, as with all recent B-wood offerings, was the proverbial anticlimax. I wonโ€™t tell you who fuelled/ incensed whom and who duelled whom but if youโ€™ve ever seen a Ramsay climax, youโ€™ll find yourself appreciating it for its superb finesse ๐Ÿ˜†

Thereโ€™s always the good, the bad and the ugly in every film. Let’s dissect them slowly, one by one (in the perverse way that a Daayan relishes dissecting her victims :wink:)

The Good:

โ€ข About ten years ago, RGVโ€™s Bhoot had me jumping up every time my doorbell rang ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Thatโ€™s the power of a brilliantly-visualized and executed set. ETDโ€™s art direction is so damn eerie, the slithery lizards so frikkinโ€™ creepy, the claustrophobic elevator and spooky corridors so terrifyingly creaky and Konkonaโ€™s reptilian smile so bloody freaky, I swear Iโ€™m not trying to take your mickey! ๐Ÿ˜€

The Bad:

โ€ข The name Bobo suits a retarded baboon better ๐Ÿ˜† And every scare doesnโ€™t have to be a nightmare/ hallucination ๐Ÿ™„ We prefer the regular real-time scares, thank you!

The Ugly:

Once a hardcore critic of the Ramsay brothers and their brand of cinema, theyโ€™ve earned a diehard fan post this one ๐Ÿ˜†

In a nutshell, ETD isnโ€™t exactly path-breaking cinema but Iโ€™m glad it doesnโ€™t pander to the Hollywood scarefest syndrome either. Iโ€™m talking to you Saif!

Chudails and Daayans are a relatively virgin premise in B-town and kudos to the team of ETD for having the guts to make such a big-budget film on the subject. But a whole is always a sum of its parts. While there are an ample number of spectacular parts in the film, particularly in the first half, the second half has been designed to make you laugh ๐Ÿ˜† Hara-kiri or should I say HAIRY-kiri ๐Ÿ˜† in the case of a psycho-horror film!

Still worth a watch. Who knows? You may actually end up including it in your disc collection!

BELOW: Interesting trampoline this! ๐Ÿ˜†

ek-thi-daayan-9a