Saw Shit, Khan!

Dear SaSHIT Khan, 😀

I Saw SHIT the other day 😆 and I’m PISSed! 😀 And no, it wasn’t a good Friday though it was! I wasn’t even close to thanking the Gods it was Friday!!! 🙄

After braving Himmatwala, I’m convinced you belong to the clan of non-competent directors. (READ Farah Con and Sheesh Bundar :lol:) That you hail from the same retarded family only adds more credence to my statement!

I won’t delve on the plot 😯 (any review normally demands this!!!) It requires real himmat to recap details of THE masterpiece of 2013!

Coming over to my thoughts on the film.

1. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the biggest bum of them all? Mirror: Obviously yaar, SaSHIT Khan! 😆 Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the biggest bum of them all? Mirror: Satakli re satakli, aata maajhi satakli… 😆 Again, Sajid!! 😀

Now you know who deserves the bum pe laat! But why Bum Pe Laat??? Did Gaand Pe Laat sound less sophisticated than the rest of your crapfest? 🙄

2. BAAGH-BAN: The ‘Save The Tiger’ campaign was conceived only because morons like your sister and yourself consistently use and repeatedly abuse the mighty beast in each of your highly forgettable flicks. You can be sure after watching the chronicles of the ‘Life of Ti’ in your flick 😀 Ang Lee’s gonna be very Ang ry! 😆

3. Why Himmatwala, you Dim-Mat(i)-wala? The 80s represent a terrible phase of Hindi cinema and Himmatwala-I is the most cringe-worthy film of that era. To put things in perspective, it’s like somebody remaking Aiyya 20 years hence!!! 😯

4. AJ=PJ!!!: It’s bad enough you’ve reduced my favorite hero to a distasteful PJ! 😀 What’s even worse is that you’ve timed the release of this mahadud on the eve of your hero’s happy budday.

Sajid (on the way to Ajay’s party): ‘Tohfa Tohfa Tohfa, laaya, laaya, laaya’…
Sajid (on his way back): ‘Laafa, laafa, laafa, paaya paaya, paaya’ :lol 😆 😆

Himmatwala makes Housefull2 look like an Oscar-winner! You get the idea, right? With all your might, resist the urge to watch this one!!!

BELOW: Oh, what’s the point in playing the blame game now? 🙄

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Kill(sh)aadi

Himesh ‘Besharmmiya’ never ceases to amaze me. The guy does everything he’s not cut out to do. Worse still, like the proverbial Jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none, he adds new skills to his repertoire at an alarming speed, firmly convinced that quantity is better than quality.

This time, he juggles the following jobs in his most incompetent hands:

  1. Producing
  2. Scriptwriting
  3. Composing
  4. Acting (Starts out as a Wedding Planner and ends up caricaturing himself as a big fat baboon ooops…buffoon)

We’ve had very few ‘wedding planner’ flicks in B-Town, the most notable being Band Baaja Baraat and I quite liked the premise of that film. Khiladi 786 and the moronic, insufferable Besharmmiya have undone it all. No wonder they liken shaadi to barbaadi!

Moving over to Asin, it’s seriously A SIN to watch her movies in the theatre! A ‘ghaatier’ version of the shrew I’d seen in Housefull 2 earlier this year, which in comparison to this borefest deserves the Oscars!!! Otherwise, everything else was the SAME.

Asin’s older brother, Mithun 😯 yes, yes, you read right…NOT DAD, but older brother!….unlike her, progressed in life…he went from a daaku to an underworld don in eight months! 😆

As for Akki, all I can manage to say is Yucky! Everything from his garish kurtas to his inane dialogues, stupi(d)fying stunts to the absurd attachment for numerical names running in his family…Baap NUMBERi, toh beta dus NUMBERi, eh???

His father’s sattar, he’s bahattar, some other idiot is ikhattar and all the while, mujhe unpe phekna tha paththar 😆

Bare choris and threadbare stories (hotchpotch of Namastey London, Ready, Housefull 2, Rowdy Rathore) …….It really would be a gross waste of time and effort to spell out what bulls*#t was unraveling on the screen.

Anyway, by the end, my husband and I were in splits, concocting silly jokes of our own…that a more apt name for AK would be AK47, given his penchant for numbers. Also, something we shouldn’t have forgetten to carry along with us 😆

You get it, right?! Steer clear of this FAIL Khiladi!

BELOW: :I didn’t see this earlier :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

Keep Distance, haan? You bet Akki!

akki