Not a Pankha of Tubelight

I just caught Tubelight and it was the most enlightening 3 hours of my life. I’ve concluded:

  1. Salman’s impressive Bajrangi had to be a fluke!
  2. Sohail’s impressive Bharat is certainly a fluke!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

The two play out their real-life relationship on reel and it’s so sickeningly sweet, bhai’s fans could do without a helping of Sheer Korma on Eid! Director Kabir Khan really overdid the Cheeni in this one.. Pun intended!๐Ÿ˜

Set against the backdrop of the Sino-Indian War of 1962, Sohail, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Bean, has to go fight the Cheen๐Ÿ˜‚ I kid you not but the soldiers have been shown as actually ambling across enemy territory like one would in a park!๐Ÿ˜ฑ No wonder we lost! ๐Ÿ˜‚Kabir Khan’s expertise lies in war films but the war montage here is laughable at best.

China prepares for a truce and sets up a Laxman Rekha, but how I wish they’d draw a Rekha for the real Laxman in the film! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Salman really overstepped his boundary in the film! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚Whatever glory was garnered in Bajrangi Bhaijaan, he’s given it up all without a fight (pun intended) in Tubelight. He does nothing that endears him toย his pankhas. No mara mari, no shirtless savari ๐Ÿ˜‚ Only his pravachan is jaari! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Yakeen hamesha dil mein rakho, dushmano se dosti karo, aur audience ko slow poison dekar maaro!๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

A local magician exhorts him to believe and hope with all his heart to get things moving in life and he moves a bottle, then a mountain, but all the while, movesย us to tears!And I don’t mean that in a good way! His man-child act is so farcical when you compare it to a Krish or to a Samar. Salman’s expressions are so contrived, he ends up caricaturing Laxman horribly. I didn’t even tear up once in what were intended to be emotional scenes. Words like goo, susu and potty sum up the humor quotient of the film. Toilet humor is so passe and yet the bhai bhakts were rolling in mirth! ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Chinese import Zhu Zhu is as bland as the cuisine of her land! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Her son, Matin, is cute as a button but, this talkative munna is no match for the mute munni. And after watching such a jaded, preachy film, I’m speechless too! Again, not in a good way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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