Ab Tak Hai Yawn!

I loooove freebies! Who doesn’t??!! Ek pe ek free…ho hum! Ek pe do free….hmmm I’m listening! Ek pe teen free…alright, bring it on!!! Ek pe chaar free…..ooooh, orgasmic! 😉

JTHJ gives you 5 for the price of 1! A mish mash of several SRK greats- DDLJ, Fauji, Dil Se, Chak De and a generous dollop of Ghajini! Plus a liplock from the otherwise “celibate main leads” thrown in for good measure!

Certainly the last SRK- Yash Chopra collaboration, I had high expectations from the undisputed Kings of Romance, positioned in front of the camera, and behind.  They were good, like in all their previous ventures. Just not brilliant!

JTHJ showed me everything I’ve seen before, albeit done with greater finesse.

Samar Anand was a more haggard version of the Raj’s and Rahul’s we’ve seen in the past. Understandably so. But when one does all that he did two decades ago, I would say ‘Dude, move on!’

Akira was akin to our desi Shakira :D, jiggling and wiggling her lithe body dangerously. And if you thought she was loud in BBB, just wait till you watch her put even those deafening bombs to shame in JTHJ! 😀

And then, moving on to the poor little rich girl, whom all us envious girls love to hate. A pretty dumb bimbo- you can add a comma to the sentence if you like, and it’d still read the same! 😀

It’s embarrassing to watch Kat in the same frame as seasoned pros like a SRK or an Amitabh or even an Aamir. And no, it ain’t because of her clothes! 😉

KATS look best with someone from their own family- the TIGER!!! Now we all know that animals can’t act. They can only entertain and there’s a separate genre of mindless cinema conceived with them in mind. Sorry, I’m not BEING HUMAN now! 😀

But you now know where I’m heading- take all the Dabanggs & Mere Brother Ki Dulhans. But leave the Barfis, Rajneetis, Kahaanis & Talaashs to the experts.

Speaking of seasoned and mature, they say the older the wine, the headier it is. YRF served me old wine in a new bottle for Diwali. The hangover never came, and the yawns just won’t go! Would this continue till Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan! Scary thought, that!

BELOW: The ‘impotent’ wine that did nothing for me!

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Ton of Sardar(d)!

Wow! It’s been ages since a much-hyped Bolly flick with an A-list star cast made me scramble for my migraine pills! SOS is THAT bad!!!

Everything about this movie is sooooo pointless! Right from Ajay falling at Akshay Kumar’s feet for the title of the film to his unconvincing Sikh getup. I won’t even elaborate on Sonakshi’s stale look and wholesale hamming. And, not to forget, everything from the ridiculous family feud tearing up the lovers to Sanju Baba who looks like a bheegi billi…. Oops, Billu, 🙂 in this moronic saga after scaring the s••• outta us as Kancha 😉

Even the notice slapped on YRF for hogging single screens across the country seems like such a futile exercise, now that we know that SOS is nothing more than a big, fat Diwali dud! Some put it down to pure bad karma, what with ADF losing the industry’s goodwill and all!

What was Ajay Devgn thinking, fighting tooth and nail, for more runs of SOS??? Make the whole nation rub its temples furiously instead of visiting our fabulously lit-up temples? 😛

Devgn should learn to stick to plain acting. Producing and direction aren’t his forte. Every movie he’s been associated with, in capacities other than acting, right from Raju Chacha in the last millennium 😀 to SOS, have been certified flops! When will he learn? Kadhi shiknaar re tu??? Satakli re, satakli! Aata maajhi satakli! 😀

Sorry yaar, Diwaali bekaar with Son of Sardar!

Sonu, hand that hot water bag to me, pleej 😉