WHAM BAM!!!

I wonder if Hrithik and Kat walked straight from the shoots of Mountain Dew and Slice, respectively, onto the sets of Bang Bang. This film sure looks like the extended disco version of the two commercials in question! 😀

After being ousted from the Dhoom camp, the unemployed & twiddling his extra thumbs 😆 Duggu must have jumped at the chance to essay the role of the devilishly-cute, outrageously-sexy, thief-cum-masterchef, Rajveer. A part he can sleepwalk through by now! 😉

On this occasion, he grows sticky fingers and plants his half-a-dozen 😆 on The Kohinoor no less! 😯 As nonchalantly as I would lift a pack of Kohinoor Basmati Chawal at D-Mart! 😆 😆 😆

Anyway, thereafter follows complete global mayhem. (Incompetent) Intelligence Agencies, (Impotent) Police Personnel, slimy spies, cold-blooded criminals and I think I even caught a glimpse of the hot-blooded Barbara Mori 😉 😆 hot on the heels of the perpetrator of this mind-boggling chori! 😀

It’s Around The World in 80 Minutes from then on. Destination Next is Shimla. We’re shown a Bank of Shimla which has suitably employed a ditzy Shimla Mirchi (only because Kat looks hot!) as their receptionist. The first serious bit of thinking on the scriptwriters’ part! 😉 😆 😆

Miss Kaif, the untouched, virginal flower, we’re told, likes to play it safe. It would have been fitting to play ‘Zara Zara Touch Me Kiss Me’ in the background for us to sympathize with the desperation of this nun. 😉

Dekha akhkha din mango ko chooosneka nateeja? 😛 😉 Kabhi kabaar MAN ko bhi….ahem too explicit!!! 😉 😛 Kabhi kabaar MAN ke peeche bhi jaaya karo. Phir Aamsutra ke saath saath Kamasutra ka bhi endorsement milega! 😉 😛 😀 😆

She proceeds on a blind-date but when the (in retrospect, blind) man in question does a no-show, no prizes for guessing what ingenuity streaked through the writer’s mind. Krrish swoops in for a kiss! 😆 😆 😆

In the process of charming the pants off her, Harleen metamorphoses into a sex-starved protagonist from Harlequin! 😆 She wonders aloud why Hrithik wants to lug a shiny piece of glass everywhere! 😯 That one peek into her dumb-blonde-kinda mind convinces Hrithik that his secret is safe! Unlike the others, this one is genuinely interested in the male, and not the maal! 😆 She even berates him for picking this Kohinoor and would rather he picked the Kohinoor of the more useful variety found at the chemists! 😉 😛 😆

From the Alps to Abu Dhabi, we get to witness a lot of betaabi. From Greece to Prague, in their pants is a raging aag! 😉 Clearly, she was briefed that Hrithik’s job was to keep the golis flying and she, the cholis flying! 😆 😆 😆

Quite the arduous journey watching the VIRGIN traversing the ATLANTIC, hoping for a satisfying BANGBANG and Krrish pulling off the most inane of stunts from every mode of transport ever invented that seriously makes us want to hail Aamir as the God of Action for his stellar performance in Dhoom 3! 😀 😆

I walked into the theater thinking I’d see a desi Mentalist. Walked out feeling quite MENTALish. 😀 Steer clear!

BELOW: ‘Look Hrithik, this piece of glass is just as pretty as your Kohinoor and so much more useful! Huh! 🙄 ‘